Secs in the City

P.S.....

2011-07-30T15:36:00.003-04:00

Wow, can't believe all the FB messages! Glad to see so many of you boycotting and keeping your kiddies safe...and spreading the word. (And it's not certain yet, but a certain news outlet may do a consumer piece on them...shhh!)

Btw, Old Navy has some kickin' new stuff for back to school, and, for the young 'uns, I love love Flapdoodles! Awesomely cute, great quality, and available at Loehmann's, Filene's, and goodness knows where else.

And as far I know, they don't knowingly disrespect and endanger their clientele. :-)

The Children's Place - Dislike

2011-07-25T10:37:00.008-04:00

I don't know how many of you are familiar with my Childrens Place story, but I'm sharing today mostly to do what I can to prevent injuries to you or your kids if you shop in the store, and partly to launch a last minute **Dislike** campaign as they tout their imminent 1 Million "likes" on Facebook.

Last year, Sept. 11, 2010 to be precise, I was shopping at The Children's Place with the Monkey, and as I flipped thru a small stack of shirts, looking for her size, the little metal "sale" sign that had been dangling over the edge of the shelf - as it's designed to do - slipped off and fell on my mostly bare foot. YEOWCH! It clearly hit in a bad way, and I was practically seeing stars. Alana's little open-sandaled feet were just inches away from mine, and as is usual in The Childrens Place stores, several infants and toddlers were being strolled beneath these signs as well.

Anyway, I wrote to the SVP of stores about the incident and the danger that these loose signs pose to shoppers (hello, Kevin Mead), and he never replied to my letter, but forwarded it onto their insurance company for settlement. Mind you, I hadn't asked for any money, just an improvement in their safety. The folks at the insurance company were wonderful, told me they didn't remotely question my story since they've processed claims for similar injuries at TCP in the past, and shared my dismay as to why they didn't simply use signs that clip to the shelves as most other retailers do. We did settle on a nominal amount. Noticing weeks later that no safety measures had been taken in the store, I wrote to Kevin Mead yet again, and wrote also to CEO Jane Elfers. To this day I have never received a response from either of them, or anyone in their offices. After contacting customer service in December, I was told that a 'prototype' for safer signs was being tested.

It's nearly the end of July, 2011, and those same loose, metal signs still sit precariously on the shelves, as adults, toddlers, and infants shop unaware beneath, and The Children's Place launches bigger and bigger advertising blitzes to draw people in. Kevin Mead and Jane Elfers are clearly aware of the ongoing safety hazard their stores, and have elected to do nothing about it, as well as to dismiss correspondence from injured shoppers. So, am I on some nutty vengeance quest? Or do I simply find it appalling and unacceptable for such a large and trusted children's retailer to lure customers, especially babies and small children who their products are designed for, into their store while showing such callous disregard for their safety?

How do YOU feel about it? If you've *liked* them on Facebook, please *unlike* and help spread the word as wide as you can to protect the little and big shoppers you care about!

Pics R Us

2011-07-07T21:04:00.001-04:00

Yep, it's true. I've been terribly remiss about posting pics here. Anyway, a few fave recent Monkey shots for you admirable resistors of the evil FB lure...

isms n' ieps

2011-07-04T01:05:00.000-04:00

Okay, "ism's" first. Honestly, she's such a funny and creative kid that the ism's are coming fast 'n furious. (Poetic license on the grammar) :-) Here are a few that come to mind, probably because I've retold 'em the most:

Her: Mom, I want help with my shoes! Me: I'm getting ready, too. Maybe your pretend friend can help you (yes, she has a 'pretend friend'). Her: My pretend friend is away until Friday. (Then later that afternoon...) Me: Monkey, did you (blah, blah...whatever naughty thing it was)? Her: No. My pretend friend did it. Me: I thought she's away until Friday? Her: She surprised me!

With school on break, I brought her with me to show a client a studio apartment. We all walk in together. Her: Wow, it's beautiful! (she looks around, confused) But there's no place to go.

She has a great vocabulary, but sometimes has delays on word retrieval. She was bothered that a certain grown-up friend would sometimes mimic her getting "stuck" and saying "uh, uh, uh..." while thinking of a word. I told her I'm sure he doesn't mean to make her feel bad, and if she tells him it hurts her feelings he won't do it again. "But what if I try to tell him and I say 'uh, uh, uh'....?"

Taking a scene from the Backyardigans, she'll sometimes stand on a street corner, grin, and at the top of her lungs yell "Silence!!!!" Then she looks around and giggles.

Then, of course, waiting for me to buy tix at the kiosk for Cars 2 today, she used a little toy to get another little girl's attention. Long story short, she's got a new best friend and I've got a whole family's cell numbers.

Anyhoo, IEP's. Y'know what? Blagh. Long ridiculous story. Bizarrely f*cked up, baffling...got a request filed for an impartial hearing to get Monkey the right services for kindergarten. We'll let it go at that, to be continued.

Drum roll...

2011-05-07T12:08:00.002-04:00

CitiHabitats (maybe I'll change the blog to Secs in the Citi?) is the lucky winner of my 'Where's the best place to get going as a real estate agent in this market?' contest, and I've signed on. So, my dear bloggy friends, if you or anyone know is looking for a place in NYC - to rent, buy, or to sell - please give me a shout, and I'll be happy to help. I've got access to oodles of listings, mid-range straight up thru luxury.

In other news, I don't think I've regaled you with the story of the Monkey's mis-located IEP files (feel like you've missed out?), but we finally have success! For those of you familiar with getting kiddies' services transitioned from pre-school to kindergarten, somehow her files were sent to the wrong school (way wrong, as in down to the W. Village!), and no matter who I called, how many times, or what I said, nobody seemed to have the authority or ability to transfer them to her correct school. Ah, bureaucrazy. Anyhoo - voila!- review is in process, observations will be done next week.

Hey, anyone else crazy enough to buy an aquarium just 'cuz your kid brings home a couple of goldfish from a carnival? :-)

Happy May Day

2011-05-01T19:59:00.000-04:00

Happy 1st, folks! Springlike weekend here in NYC to boot. Yay!

So, let's see. Spring break has come and gone, featuring a few days of camp for the Monkey, and a trip down to my bro & crew's place for the end of Passover (or Pes-accchh, as is more fun to say), where the Monkey had a blast with her human cousins. And she actually held it together quite well for round-trip Amtrak rides, something which until now was only a dream.

Also, way back yonder in March, I decided to follow thru on an idea I'd kicked around for quite a while, and sent myself to real estate school, where it took just over a month to complete the training course and pass the state exam, qualifying myself as a real estate agent. I've been meeting with oodles of nearby brokerages of all kinds and considering which is both the best starting place for a newbie, and best for current market conditions. I've made my pick (funny how I came back to my original instinct, even after exploring spiffier options)... and as soon as I have the official offer letter in my mitts I'll tell ya which one it is.

That's about it! And now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go tend to our 2 new aquatic roomies that Alana brought home from a carnival in the park today.

Name Change

2011-04-21T12:40:00.004-04:00

Hi there! I'm experimenting with changing the name of this blog to make it more about what it's about... moments and thoughts from here in NYC! Keeping in that mode, I retain the option to change it back in a NY minute.

Meanwhile, please continue enjoy -and post a comment so I know you've stopped by! :-)

Fun w. Flix

2011-03-08T15:56:00.002-05:00

What? I didn't post these links yet?? My bad. :-)

Here, a quick clip of the Monkey 'hangin' out'

Here, my video of her 5th Bday extravaganza

Turning Five Fiesta

2011-02-15T10:01:00.005-05:00

How'd she get to be five?? We did yet another celebration - a big ol' blowout - at NY Kids Club. I thought she would want Chelsea Piers this year - the sports mecca of NYC - but she opted no, "Kids Club!". The pint-sized socialite actually had a whole weekend of festivities, what with her partying and sleeping over at her bff Ashley's place on Friday nite to celebrate Ash's big 0-5, then waking up Sat to her own birthday, the shindig, then back-to-back playdates (with a short break for gymnastics!) the rest of the weekend.

Anyways, I'm feelin' very much the proud, very lucky (and finally refreshed!) mama of this awesome li'l Monkey girl. Here, some birthdays (and fashions) thru the years.....2, 3, 4, and...(drum roll...)....5!

Project Russia

2011-02-10T22:45:00.001-05:00

So the Monkey's pre-K class is doing an "Around the World" unit. (Partly inspired, I'm sure, by the fact that the various teaching asst's hail from Hamburg, Britain, Cairo, and Moscow... I♥NY....♫♫). In any case, her teacher invited any parents who would like to come in and do a project with the kiddies based on whatever country of interest. So, Russia it was, and I spoke about some Russia "Fun Facts" (complete with pictures), and then had them make paper Matryoshka dolls while listening to some Russian kiddie music. The Monkey was just giddy over this whole thing, and I've gotta say, the kids impressed me both with their questions and comments about Russia, and their artistic/crafts skills! I really expected the teachers would be doing more of the crafts, but nooooo. Very cool and fun! Even cooler that the inexplicable 101 fever I was sporting the night before was gone by morning.

'ism's and bits...and almost 5!

2011-02-08T14:59:00.007-05:00

Hi again, mi amigos. Before getting to any birthday chatter, I wanted to jot down a couple of Monkey "ism's and bits" before I forget 'em. Sure, some are redundant to my Facebook friends, but that's how it goes. Skip to the ones you like.

Most recently, this past weekend, I was telling Alana that it was time to leave the indoor playground at Chelsea Piers. My news was met with a grinning "fuck it, mommy!". I'd never heard any real potty words from her before, so I probably just looked surprised as I said "excuse me?", and she repeated herself enthusiastically (and loudly, I might add), as a guy walking by smirked at me and said quietly, "yup, that's what she said!" Oy. Later that night, our friends took us out to dinner to celebrate February birthdays. As we were wrapping up, imagine my surprise to hear my still-4-yo-daughter perk up and say, unprompted, "Fank you for inviting us to dinner, Sophie and George! This was great!". All in all, I'd say my little baby's growing up!

My favorite (and thus, any more that I remember will be inserted above this, 'cuz ya gotta save the best for last) was last week when were heading out for a party, and I saw the Monkey sitting on the potty, straining. Me: Are you ok? Are you trying to poop? Her: No, I'm trying to get candy out my butt. Me: Uh....ok then! Her (both of us are laughing now): Because I ate a lot of sugar today! I'm trying to get candy out my BUTT! But I can't. Me: Yeah, me neither. (Elements of this convo have been re-enacted several times since).

Gotta say, I admired the hypothesis - sugar in, candy out?! A scientist in the making.

So, another sign she's growing up. Gymnastics. She started almost year and a half ago, in the 3's class. Then moved up to the 4's, which was nearly identical...lots of obstacle course stuff, trampoline, some rock wall. Now I've bumped her into the 5's. BIG change! This class is way regimented, as they move from one piece of equipment to the next. If you know Alana, you know she's a bouncy little chickie on her own agenda. She'll focus or not, depending. And if her interests lie elsewhere, she'll generally - and easily! - wrangle a partner in crime. Not so in this class! I did see her go that route towards the end of the first session, but last week, after I explained that this is the way to learn how to do all those cool flips and high bounces we've seen the coaches do, I watched in amazement as the tiniest gymnast in the class stayed focused and intent for the full 60 mins. Wowsa!

Anyway, yes, birthday coming up this Saturday! The whole 5 thing seems to have this aura about it, at least around here, where kindergarten testing, zoning, and admissions is a big deal, yadda yadda. Won't bore you with the details of that! But no question, turning 5 makes you a full-fledged kid, which is cool but a little mixed for a mama.

And right now I'm juggling the details of the party, along with prepping for a crafts project I'm gonna do with her class on Thursday (they're doing an international unit this month, so I'm gonna talk about Russia and have them make cute paper versions of Matryoshka dolls), while of course tending to the slew of grown-up tasks and quandaries. Over n' out!

(The little groupie with members of the Dirty Sock Fun Time Band, after a show at her school)

Happy New Year!!!

2011-01-03T09:22:00.003-05:00

A new record? Post-Halloween to Post-New Year's Eve without...posts?

So, what's up, everyone??

I'm excited to report I actually went out this New Year's Eve. Yay! My friends/ neighbors were kind enough to host the Monkey for a sleepover, in exchange for which I hosted their munchkin, Alana's BFF Ashley, for a playdate/makeover party earlier in the evening so they could go out for dinner. On the grown-up entertainment roster for me was a fancy-ish house party with some friends over on the East side (hey, any excuse to ditch the GAP denim - bonus for silly hats!), swigging Prosecco (although the food was really my over-indulgence...shhh), and seeing a friend's band for a bit before zipping back home around a respectable 2:30am.

Today of course is the Monkey's first day back at school after Christmas Vacation, and let's face it, she's the star of this blog. :-) About vacation, it was actually pretty cool! Monkey's become quite the entertaining little buddy (I'll post some fresh 'ism's' later), and didn't make me much nuttier than anyone else might've, if stapled to me virtually 24/7. (HUGE contrast to last year...yikes!). So let's see.... we went to the Big Apple Circus, went ice skating on Wollman rink, swimming with some friends at a great rooftop pool, saw Tangled (tho' didn't make it thru the whole thing....too scary?), enjoyed the usual playdates with friends large and small, she went to "camp"...and let's not forget the spectacular snow that fell, aka "nature's playground"!

Okay, things to do, so over n' out for now....may add pics later...enjoy!

Happy Spooky Halloween!

2010-11-02T02:47:00.000-04:00

Late October? Already??

2010-10-22T09:29:00.005-04:00

So back to the blog. Just hang on a sec while I dust this thing off....whoo...whoo... ah, that's better. :-)

Since I've just gotten to spend two consecutive evenings out (quite the rarity), one to celebrate Lil B's Birthday (HBD Lil!), and one to toast Michelle's awesome engagement (and glitterific ring!), thought I'd send 'em some shout-outs.

The Monkey is back in school, of course, Pre-K...and this year she's been bumped into the most advanced class in her school. Kinda nice, since a few months ago they weren't sure if they were gonna bump her into an integrated class at all. (Integrated = top level kids thru the special ed system + 'typically developing' kids from the area). She's doing great, and I admit I found it kinda funny to get an email home from her teacher about using "good words instead of bad words", since when she started at the school last year she spoke barely any words! (Now they're getting finicky??)

Speaking of her school, the big annual Fundraiser is coming up soon... November 9. If anyone would like to buy raffle tickets (or have their arm twisted to buy raffle tix!!!), they're only $10 each, and there are some really awesome prizes (spa days, basketball tix, high-end fashion items... even a trip for 2 to Mexico!!). Please let me know!!!!!!

And our sad news, Alana and I bid our farewells to Cassie the WonderBeagle a little over a month ago. She lived a happy, healthy 15+ years, and when the tumor that she'd been coping with so well finally took over - as we knew it was bound to - there was no way I could watch our furry little best buddy suffer any longer than necessary. It was hard to do, but I'm so grateful she had this second-puppyhood going on, and really got to enjoy her last few months. We'll always love and miss our Sassy Cassie.

Only in NY

2010-09-01T14:40:00.001-04:00

Just a quickie I had to share. The Monkey and I were walking the pup around our moderately busy city block yesterday, Monkey intermittently stopping to play with her new bubbles/ bubble wand along the way. A woman stopped and struck up a convo w/ me about our somewhat ailing doggie, as the beautiful and fancily dressed little girl she was with - turned out to be her 7-yo niece - happily joined in Alana's game, jumping and popping the bubbles. After a little chit-chat about dogs, kids, etc, the woman wrangled the girl and explained they were off to lunch at the Russian Tea Room. "I'm from Russia!" the little girl piped in.

24

2010-08-27T22:55:00.008-04:00

For the record, playing Julie Cruise Director's never been my thing. Not that I don't like to try, it's just that events I do try to organize, particularly ones that require rallying others, tend not to materialize. So, imagine finding myself and the Monkey in PA, with a group of terrific people I'd never met before, who'd enthusiastically rallied on short notice. Yee-haw!

It gets better. The place in question was the remote but adorable Philly 'burb of Phoenixville, PA, and the peeps in question were two blog buddies I've known thru email and occasional phone calls for a few years (you may know them, too!) and their kids, all of us connected thru the strange and wacky world of Russian adoption. Mix n' matched between us, we had 2 Murmansk monkey clowns, who at one point lived together in the same group in the same baby home; 2 blonde-haired Kirov cuties who'd never met, a boy and a girl; and a beautiful boy from Ekat. All these munchkins are between 4 and 7. (And no sh*t, these kids are gorgeous!) :-)

Mama K, as we'll call her here, wrote up a great synopsis of the day on her blog, Dreams Really Do Come True, so for the full story - and her true identity - check it out....and come back!

After the events wound down, and the kiddies were just about conked out in the car, K dropped us off at Rock n' Roll After School, the tres-cool creation of my friend Erin. I've always known Erin as the veteran rocker chick, so had another surreal moment watching my little Monkey girl, who until recently didn't sing, let alone show much interest in musical instruments, hop up on the stage and, after dabbling with a few other instruments, plunk her miniscule booty down and channel her inner Sheila E. behind the drum kit. Hey, who rocks out better, singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? (BIG thanks to Erin for letting her tool around on all the equipment...you're a better man than I!). Back at Erin's house, Monkey was knocked down, trampled, mauled, and licked by Erin's exuberant Bernese Mountain Dog.... who she still wants to go back and play with some more. Sigh.

All in all, we're talking about maybe 24 hours. But what a cool trip. Monkey and M (her red-headed male counterpart), who we've always thought showed some similarities, instantly bonded in giddy lunacy, and their similarities became even more apparent. It felt like everyone had just stepped out of their blogs and photos and were moving and talking. Hanging with my blog buddies in person was a trip in itself, and watching these 5 fantastic but very individual munchkins play and play nicely all day was a kick, that gets even more surreal as I look back. For those of you who've been in this blog world, the pics are really kind of wild...a pretty big deal, if you think about where each of these munchkins is from, how they each found their forever family, and how they/ we then all found ourselves together on a big ol' playdate. The only thing I'd wanna see different next time is to have even more of you there...oh, and maybe a bathroom. :-)

Monkey stuff and a New Venture

2010-08-09T10:52:00.003-04:00

Wanna know the main reason I haven't been updating about the Monkey? Simple...she's been saying and doing so much stuff - funny things, wacky things, sweet things, and generally picking up so many new tricks that just when I plan to write about one, there's something else. I can't keep up! Sigh.

Speech is virtually a non-issue now. It's gone from super delayed to often excessive. :-) Maybe some language elements could still use a smidge of catch-up, but whatever...it's coming along fast, and frankly, most of her 'errors' now are pretty cute. (And let's not forget this is the summer of Toy Story III - I'll spare you all the stories about her wanting a Woody {doll!}). Her school, which at the end of June decided to slate her for the same preschool class again in Sept (they go by ability, not age), noticed her language burst and "academic skills" improvement in late July and bumped her up into their infamously fast-moving integrated class for Sept. (yay!)

If you're a Facebook friend you've seen some of the antics. There was the nite I woke up to see her standing next to my bed holding a box of cupcakes; after reading her the riot act, ordering her back to bed, and going to return the cupcakes to the fridge, I noticed a big mess of toys in the living room including her car seat moved away from its spot, sitting in the foyer. Fast forward to morning, I see a cupcake sitting on my night table, do a little math in my head, and realize she hadn't eaten any... she'd taken the cupcake out for ME! (How the doggie hadn't gotten it overnite is beyond me!). Next, she explained that she took the car seat out (tossing all the toys off it) so she could climb up on it to unlock our apt door and go out in the hall to look for 'the elephant'. (Our neighbor's door creaks, and we used to say it was an elephant... but that was around a year ago). Out in the hall, by herself, at 4am - blagh!

Also around the cupcakes, she'd apparently learned the fine art of distracting me ("Mommy, that was so silly...do it again!!!"), and snatching my cupcake as soon as I fall for it.

And then there's this past Saturday, when we were already running tight for gymnastics, and as I'm finding her leotard I hear her laughing, "Mommy....wook! Blue and red makes pupple!!".. only to see she's painted her whole self... pupple. Oy! Into the shower we go, scrub her down, run the pup off to doggie day care, and actually made it downtown to gymnastics only 10 minutes late. (She later re-did her arms!)

Okay, soooo....the new venture. For everyone who's got a zillion pictures and video clips sitting on any of a variety of gadgets, and even old pics in a drawer, check out Susan Lynne Photo & Video Magic. I do individual photo editing (everything from simple tweaks to having some really creative fun), and create interesting, finished videos (music videos, montages...) from whatever you've got. "Like" me on FB or visit my website to see some samples of my work.... and if you like what you see, please pass the word along to your friends!

Catchin' Up

2010-06-25T17:48:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm gonna skip all the 'bad blogger' self-chastising (it's getting old, no?). (But seriously, over a month? Yikes!)

Been a bunch of stuff going on the past few weeks, so now it's time to pop my head up. Monkey's got just one day left of first-year pre-school, and they had an over-the top but really cute in-class graduation this past Monday. Aside from putting on a 'play' of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, performing a class song, and showing a slideshow of the class throughout the year, they each got diplomas (not making this up!), and awesome goodie bags. In it, each kid got a personalized handmade photo album, made of construction paper, laminated, with cut-out decorations, containing about 50 photos just of his/herself throughout the year. Also, a dvd of the slideshow, a class T-Shirt, and a Dr. Suess jigsaw puzzle - 48 piece, no less. How's THAT for a teaching staff that rocks??

Meanwhile, while that was going on, Cassie our beagle was in surgery for a - this is kind of icky - strange growth in her nose. A biopsy several weeks ago came back clear, but it was getting much bigger and making her clearly uncomfortable, with lots of sneezing and snorting. No vet likes putting an elderly dog under for surgery, but we decided to go for it, and it went fine. She's still not all clear, since they didn't want to get too invasive, but seems way better than she was.

What else? Oh, yes, last week we had my sister-in-law and niece here to visit for a few days, and the Monkey and her cousin had a blast. One of the highlights was an outing to Victoria Gardens, the makeshift amusement park on Wollman Rink in Central Park. Way fun for the kids, and a James Taylor sighting for us moms. And after they left? A panicky call from my friend Donna on her way to the ER - where I met her as she awaited an emergency appendectomy that same night.

Anyway, good to see ya'll back here. Over 'n out for right now....

An oversight? Nahhh....

2010-05-17T11:39:00.005-04:00

Yep, way overdue for a blogger linked to the Russian adoption world, I know, but here goes!

Right after the incident of the mother "returning" her 7-yo adopted son to Russia, we all saw how the blogs, social networks, yadda yadda, were overrun with scathing remarks and essays about this adoptive mother, with calls made for everything from fines to extended incarceration to worse. Russia launched into its usual "THIS is why we don't want to adopt out to Americans!" stance, and threatened to halt international adoptions. (Much credit is actually due to the Russian government for not halting the process). Me? I wanted to think a little.

Of course what this woman did struck me as very wrong, and awful for the child, but I wasn't comfortable with the lynching, either. I also wasn't comfortable with the Russians' outrage at her treatment of the child, as callous as it was, when it's not unusual for Russian families to adopt from their own orphanages - often to collect on financial incentives - and then return the child when it doesn't work out, and nobody says a word. What mattered to me most was that what happened was bigger than this one woman's actions. And where I agreed with the Russian government is that it did signal the need for some sort of safeguard.

What I first tried to do was put myself in this woman's shoes, but of course I couldn't. I've never adopted a 7-year old boy, with an unknown history which most likely involves unknown forms of abuse along with at least one awfully painful abandonment (2 if you count the adoption itself), from a far away country, who is now threatening my family, showing a violent streak, and trying to burn down my home with our family in it... and had to deal with this day after day. Granted, we don't know for sure that this is actually what was happening, but anyone passingly familiar with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) knows that it certainly could have been.

What I could do was recall my own experience. I remember truly feeling for this little person who'd been taken away from the only life she knew, the only language she knew, who must've been feeling terribly confused and lost. I also remember my nerves running way short when this was coming out in the form of long and violent (screaming, hitting, clawing, biting...) 2am rages. Or multiple, intense mid-day rages that could last an hour or more each. Hell, you may remember my (pre-Facebook) postings here, begging for anyone who was up and reading to offer some quick tips! How many times did I post that I was at "wit's end"?? I love this awesome little Monkey to pieces, she loves me, and if we don't illustrate a "successful" adoption I don't know what does, but goodness knows it took an awful lot of work, bandages, and frazzled nerves getting here. And this was an adoption of a happy-natured (if volatile!) not-even 2-year-old baby girl, whose fairly straightforward history I more or less did know.

I absolutely think this mother should've sought help locally. Anyone in the U.S. who adopts has a social worker who handles their case, who may or may not be part of the international adoption agency. If not, then there's someone to contact at the agency, as well. That said, I suspect there's a lot of personal resistance to contacting these people in panic. There's a sense of personal failure, there's a fear that all that is said will be reported back to the child's country-of-origin's government and may create problems, fear of encountering a smug "hey, you asked for this!" mentality, etc...and, woulda/coulda aside, this may simply be too much for someone who's already so over-stressed and panicked to face.

Therefore, my proposal (for the 2 cents minus recessionary decrease its worth), is that a post-adoption support or panic plan be put in place pre-adoption. My agency director was terrific about telling me, upon our return home, that she's a trained and experienced social worker, and that I should feel free to call with any issues that crop up. Clearly, not all agencies do that, and regardless, they're busy with their adoption-facilitating functions. So, whether it's by the international agency or the local social worker, I think a plan needs to be put in place. A list of local resources with phone numbers or URL's, to be sure, but then also a first-line person for issues as they crop up, a second-line person in case that doesn't do it, and a"panic plan" for the most extreme cases of wit's-ended-ness or fears for one's own, or one's child's, safety. Details could be hammered out by someone better versed in social work than I am, but the plan, in writing, should be in every adoptive parent's hands by the time they arrive home with their child. I'm willing to bet that even just knowing it's there would relieve a lot of stress.

Pre-adoptive education should also be a must, and I think any of us who've "btdt" that can agree that the 10 hours of online 'training' is a joke. At the very least, again, a list of resources about issues commonly encountered for access pre-adoption (which, let's face it, is probably also a joke since the issues you'll encounter are, by Murphy's Law, never the ones you're prepared for!), as well as post-.

What I'm now iffy on, partly because none of us knows what's involved yet, is the agreement that the US and Russia are supposedly close to finalizing for inter-country adoption. I'm all for an agreement, and glad, of course, that this is moving along so quickly and seemingly amicably. What makes me apprehensive is the likelihood that it involves giving Russian government some control over the adoption even after the child and family are back on US soil. It's great that a simple agreement would, in theory, keep adoptions moving, but I honestly expect this sort of control would scare a lot of Americans away from Russian adoption, which would be an awful shame for the thousands of orphans who'd miss out on finding families. And, it might also scare adoptive parents away from reporting difficulties at home, in fear of Russia's rights to "reach over" and intervene, even post- adoption. For now, we'll have to wait and see what the details actually are.

Bottom line, methinks we parents should learn from what works at home. Rules and punishments may be necessary evils, but education and support are most often what works best.

Eavesdropping

2010-04-28T11:37:00.003-04:00

We all know it's cool to write down funny/ interesting stuff that the kiddies do, for our/their later embarra...uh, amusement. In this case, it's more a couple of things I found extra impressive and sweet. And, since if I write it anywhere else I'll definitely lose it, you guys get the option of listening in....

One is, last week she was getting kind of pissy with me, and took a swing. I said "Excuse me??", and she did it again. I got down to her level and gave her my newly discovered death stare, "You don't EVER hit your mother. Do you hear me? You don't EVER hit your mother." She wouldn't look at me, so I followed it with "Look at me. Look. At. Me. You don't EVER hit your mother." She was smirking and wouldn't make eye contact, so I did what's become routine around here - sent her off to her room til she can calm down and behave nicely.

A few minutes later she comes into the kitchen...sobbing. With tears streaming down her face, she says "I feel better now". "You do??" I ask. Then the sobs get heavier, tears still streaming, "I sorry I hit my mother. I so so-oo-oorry I hit my m-m-mother." I just stood there now, looking at this tiny little person looking up at me with big round eyes, tears still streaming, "I don't look at you m-m-mommy 'acause I don't want to see you be angry at me or mad. I want to see you H-H-HAPPY, M-M-MOMMEEEE" as her face reddened and tears rolled harder. "I don't look at you 'acause I don't want to see you angry at meeeee...". A few sniffles more, "I sorry I hit my m-mother. I don't do it again, mommy".

Yes, many big hugs followed. And this from the girl who a year ago couldn't say more than maybe 15 words and was filled with frustration.

Okay, so the other nite I'm tucking her in. We've read the requisite stories, sung the requisite lullabies, and as I start getting up to leave she grabs my arm and wraps it around her. "I love you, Mommy. I need you." "I love you, too, sweetheart, bigger than the whole world. Good nite" as I start to pull my arm away. She (continuing the tug-o-war), using her sweet little voice, "But I need you a LOT, mommy". Awwwww, man. I hung tough and after a few extra squeezes and reassurances extricated my arm and said goodnite, but does this kid know how to work it, or what? :-)

Duckin' the Paparazzi

2010-04-20T13:51:00.003-04:00

Looking back over these past several posts, I realize there's a total black hole of Monkey pics. This, my friends, is because the li'l photogenic one has decided it's funny to duck the paparazzi, aka Mommy and her digital Casio. Ah well, let's see who laughs later when she has no pics to show of herself! Anyhoo, a little of what she's been up to, ANYWAY....

Starting with the great "paint-my-feet-red and run around while mommy's asleep" caper...

Then we have our green monster...

Who's also a jock...a singer...

...and sometimes just a silly kid duckin' the paparazzi

Okay, okay....

2010-04-10T11:02:00.003-04:00

...man, ya slack a little on your blog and everyone's on your case! I blame Facebook. Really. Bad Facebook!

Onto "funner" topics...taxes! Yep, the annual evil. Trying to get them out by the end of this weekend. Hopefully you've done yours. I always seem to get stuck on one or two minute topics, but plowin' thru.

The bigger issue around here has been about my apartment renewal - should I stay or should I upgrade to a 2BR - and all that goes with it. Seeing apartments, making quick decisions (not my strong suit!), and a long story involving my management company's leasing office and what might take the title of most ridiculous conversation ever with a person over 3.

Meanwhile, the Monkey's doing flips on my chair as I type this, and making me smell her - phew! - stinky feet. Thanks, girlfriend. She's doing great, though. Not only was our spring break generally drama free, but she had a great time on our trip to visit family, and the transportation involved - a plane one way and a train the other - resulted in no death threats, full mental breakdowns, or permanent blacklisting on either Amtrak or Delta. I credit a portable DVD player and 2 Max and Ruby dvd's.

She's still loving school and, in fact, the li'l one is not only getting better at identifying letters, she's starting to try and read words. Wa-hoo!

And since I'm blathering on, trying to make up for weeks of blog-lect, I'll also brag about a lifebook I FINALLY put together for Alana - and the awesome job iPhoto/Apple did printing it. For ages I trolled for lifebook ideas, and couldn't decide on just one. I started telling her the story of Princess Alana at bedtime, and one day it hit me - that's it! Do her lifebook as a storybook about Princess Alana, and just punch up the story with pictures. When I got my new Mac last month (oh, I got a new iMac last month!), iPhoto made it so simple to put a book together there was simply no way not to do it. When the book arrived I was really blown away by how nice it looked - for all of about $44.

Okay kids, so you asked for it, you got it! Stay tuned for updates on our apartment situation...and on another project I can't yet discuss, but it's a fun goof so it should be fun when I do!

** PS - if you'd like to receive my Turn the Page Coaching e-Newsletter, just send me your email addy **

SUCH a mommy-blog

2010-02-19T23:37:00.004-05:00

Yep, you're warned - this post especially is gonna read as a 'mommy blog', largely b/c the munchkin's had a birthday AND been on Presidents' Week vacay. I promise I'll mix it up a little after this!

Ooh, before I launch into the mom/kid stuff, I've gotta mention something freaky from last weekend. Simply, a guy jumped from his 11th floor window in the apt bldg behind mine, landing in our shared courtyard. Sure, you're thinking **splat!**.... but you'd be wrong. There's a spiked fence that runs across the courtyard. Yep...skewered. Yikes.

Anyhooooo....

The Monkey...who no longer wishes to be referred to as the Monkey...was turned 4 by the nocturnal birthday fairy last Friday! Happy Birthday, li'l one! I did the requisite cupcake-totin' pop-in at school, we had birthday cake and a playdate that night with her new obsession whose identity I won't reveal (Hi Jackson! Oops...), and then - we'll fast forward past Saturday's courtyard extravaganza - her big gymnastics/Mermaid party on Sunday...wa-hoo! That party was then followed by spontaneous back-to-back playdates, both, coincidentally, with beautiful little friends from far-away lands.

She's had some fun camp sessions at a newly discovered neighborhood gem (that's saving me a bunch) and giving me breaks, a nasty blister-turned-something that also landed us in the ER, for what, by ER standards, was actually a fairly pleasant evening complete with karaoke (don't ask!), and has been enjoying her bunches of birthday presents. All in all, she's been a much easier kid since she's turned 4 (thus far, anyway!), rendering this vacation far more enjoyable than the emotionally/behaviorally hellish experience that was Christmas break.

Anyhoo, I've got a sleeping kid, we've got her BFF Ashley's Princess BDay party in the morning (Happy Birthday, Ash!), and I'm gonna chill for a bit before zzzzzz.....

G'nite!

"Anyone from out of town?"

2010-02-08T14:55:00.002-05:00

I'm noticing an unusual spike in visitors here. Welcome all, grab yourselves a drink...just wondering, how did you find me?

"ism's" and bits (2/11 - new ones added!!)

2010-02-03T22:24:00.007-05:00

Okay, some recent Alana stuff I want to remember...and I figure I can write 'em here until she can read. :-)

- She'll suddenly jump into my lap, and with this ginormous grin command me, "cwy!". I refuse a few times, she laughs, and when I eventually give in and "cwy" she gets very sweet, coos "don't cwy mommy," strokes my arm, gives me a hug,"it's okay mommy, you're my best friend... don't cwy". When I finally play the cheered-up mommy, she jumps up in my face again, and giggles "cwy!".

- Speaking of "you're my best friend"....when said by a cute three-year-old who's giving you a sweet hug, it clearly melts hearts. Suckers! She knows it and works EVERYONE.

- She tends to throw lots of things during tantrums. After, she apologizes and picks them all up.

- She likes to go put dog biscuits (one at a time, she's learned!) and her table scraps into Cassie (our beagle's) bowl. It's sweet, and I guess it makes up for all the crap she puts this poor dog through.

- This one's confused me for quite a while. "Own". "I want my OWN pants", "No, my OWN paper..", when what she already has IS her stuff. It seems she's confusing "own" with "new", but I'm not entirely sure. (??!)

- Lately, she's Picasso. Painting at her new easel, drawing on paper, doodling random lines on tiny scraps of paper. And nearly every one concludes with "I wanna go show....", and it'll always be one of a few specific people, and I don't hear the end of it for quiiiiite a while!

- My favorite. My acrobat was playing on the couch the other day, and from the other room I heard a thud. I came in, "what happened?". Her, grinning , "I fell on the floor! BOOM!" Me, "Yes, and why did you fall on the floor?" Her, still grinning, "the couch did it!!".

And that's what I've got for right now.....

Ok, more...

- Fist pumped in the air, "let's do it...TOGEVVER!"

- "Dr. Mommy" (my favorite title) :-)

- She'll get right in my face and challenge me with her sh*t-eating grin..."cose your eyes!" Me: "Nnnno!" (She's going to lick my face) Her, still grinning: "cose a' EYES!"

- We've very into being "fwee and fwee quarters", but looking forward to our birthday on "Fefewy 12", and our mermaid party on "Fefewy 14". She knows her full name, my full name, our apt number, her bff's apartment number, and when someone asks her a question she sounds like that 'search engine overload' commercial, spewing info that may or may not answer the question.

- "I big and strong and I have MUSCLES!" (said in best growly voice)

-There's a little "side to side" trick taught on Ni-Hao Kai Lan to calm yourself down when you're mad. After a rage (and her rages can be FIERCE), she'll start doing it and in a quiet little voice say "mommy....wook...", so I can see she's done and trying to calm down.

- Not really an "ism", but yesterday we were having pizza with her bf Dylan. They're sitting next to each other, and he looks at her and says "go away Alana. I don't want you here. Go over there." (Men!) She looked pensive for a few seconds, turned to him, blew a raspberry and started giggling. That's my girl!

Bad Blogger!

2010-01-21T10:05:00.003-05:00

Geez, I've been a REALLY bad blogger. :-(

Okay, updates...let's see...

The Monkey's really got no dramatic updates, other than the changes that seem to be rolling along every day. Her speech/language, which was by far the issue of most concern, seems to be catching up like crazy. Sure, her sentence structure is still a bit behind age level, but talking is no problem now, and needless to say, considering she's always been a clown even WITHOUT words, she comes out with some of the darndest and funniest things. (Okay, so maybe it's just me who finds 'em funny? Or maybe it's the WAY she says 'em!) :-)

I'll start writing them down here as soon as I get a chance, so be sure to check back!

We were having some sleep issues, in the form of irrepressible late nite rock-star energy, but the last several nites she's....well...(shhhhhhh!)... I'm thinking she may be in a growth spurt now, as I've NEVER before heard requests to rest from this li'l Monkey...plus she now fits into some size 4T pants, even lengthwise...woo-hoo!

Any fellow city dwellers trying to plan their kiddies' BDay parties?? Yeowch. It's just nuts. I'm inviting her whole class (12 kids) plus some little outside friends. The cost for a preschooler's 1 1/2 hr party is mind-boggling. I think I'm in the acceptance stage. Oy!

That's mostly it. I think the humanitarian crisis Haiti is on everyone's mind, as it should be. I'm imagining most of us have done what we can donation-wise...now it's just so frustrating watching the supplies sit on the barges, awaiting distribution, while the quake victims go without. Still, it was amazing to see those little kids rescued last nite after 8 days...EIGHT DAYS...of no food or water. And those 50 kids from one orphanage flown to Pittsburgh to complete their adoptions or, for some of them, find adoptive families. If any of you have been following the Facebook group "Bring Anya Home" (please check it out!), you know how impossible it can be to work thru the most absurd and inhumane bureaucracy...(and I'm talking U.S.!), so it's extra awesome to see it actually work.

And th-th-that's all for now, kids...off to the Boat Show!

You're Still Here? :-)

2009-12-14T09:12:00.007-05:00

Thanks so much for your loyalty, even thru my lazy, busy, and downright ADD times. (And let's not forget my succumbing to the quick high of...you know....those empty FB quickies!)

Movin' right along...

I wanna be in Alana's preschool!

Her class is heading over to see the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree today (this oughta be interesting...no mobs of tourists THERE!), and then binging at Mickey D's. Friday was their Hanukkah Party, complete with menorah-making (we used hers last nite), latkes, and jelly donuts. (The fact that she threw up mid-festivities didn't seem to dampen the spirit too much!). Sounds like an all Jewish school but nope, next week Santa's coming to visit one day, and they're having an all-Holiday Party another. In between is her class play of "Where the Wild Things Are", and her class is going to the movies to see The Frog Prince (nevermind that we already saw it in limited-run at the Ziegfeld!). Her whole school went to the Big Apple Circus in November, and they're going to Sesame Street Live in February. I honestly don't remember EVER doing this much fun stuff at school - and that includes smoking home-rolled ciggies (ahem!) between 10th grade English and Chemistry - and these kiddies are all 3's and 4's.

Fortunately, I'm also doing some coaching ("fan" me at Turn the Page Coaching on Facebook), having some fun with photo editing for myself and others (friend me on Facebook!), and getting out for some grown-up parties and gatherings...something this mama absolutely needs, and after all, 'tis the season!

Also, this is the Monkey's and my 2-year anniversary week...yesterday was 2 years that I've legally been her mom - and that she's legally been 'Alana'; Dec. 19 is what I call our "Together Day", since it's the day I took custody; and the 22nd is when my little Russki became an American Girl as we touched down at JFK and headed on home to the Upper West Side. (By all means, feel free to check out previous December postings for more lively, detailed accounts!).
It's truly crazy...no one was more cynical than I, hearing how adoptive parents always seemed to feel that they ended up with the child that was "meant to be" theirs. Seriously, for goodness sake, you're matched up with the next registered kid on the list. Barring any prohibitive circumstances or concerns.... every bit of the cynicism, now out the window. I can't imagine any kid ever being more mine - or her having anyone who's more her mom - than this li'l Monkey. :-)

Okay, okay..some text!

2009-11-18T21:12:00.003-05:00

As promised. So, let's see....

Ah, I had my first parent/ teacher conference with Alana's teacher 2 weeks ago. In spite of her stifling a giggle and saying "Alana...she's a piece of work!" (as her teachers typically do) she tells me Alana's doing amazingly well.... always well-behaved, happy and cooperative (so, um, a whole different kid at school!), playing nice with the other kids and coming along impressively well across the board. I filled her in a bit about her background, and (pregnant herself and terrified of delivering prematurely) she was now triply impressed with Alana's progress. Hey, what more can a proud mama ask??

Moving along to the NEXT week (last week, as of now), we've got a so-called comedy of errors. Monkey'd picked up a nasty cough. I pick her up at school on Tuesday to go to her eyedoctor appt, and her teacher and the nurse tell me her cough's gotten worse throughout the day. Poor little thing is hacking away, and off to the eyedoc we go. Being Alana, though, the cough hasn't stifled her clownish impulses. Halfway thru her eye exam she decides to jump out of her chair, giggling, and take off down the hall. The assistant chases after her while I talk with the doc, only to return with a screaming, bleeding little Monkey. Seems the assistant had caught up, Alana tripped over the assistant's shoe, and hit her forehead on the corner of the waiting room table. Yikes. We wipe it down as best we can, put a band-aid on her head, and say sayonara. Now I'm outside with a hacking, still-bleeding Monkey, who's also scheduled to get her H1N1 shot at a clinic the next day. I'm feeling a bit iffy about all this, so call her ped's office to see if we can get in, and apparently they can get us in to see our regular doc's fill-in.

The Monkey, clearly none too traumatized by the head injury from the eyedoc's office an hour before, pulls the same stunt while waiting at the ped's office, fortunately without injury. We see the doc, she tells us the cough seems like a garden variety cold/viral bug, just use the inhaler to prevent further problems. She says as long as there's no fever, she's ok to get her flu shot, so that's good. Then she asks if we'd like the shot right then, and I ask, a little surprised, if they have it. She says yes, so I say yes. Great...but then it turns out that we'd miscommunicated...I was thinking H1N1, she was thinking seasonal flu...and she'd already given Alana the shot. Sh*t! It takes weeks to get an appt for the H1N1 shots, and now my poor kid who's already hacking just got a regular flu shot. (Seriously, was it a day like this that originally prompted the term "comedy of errors"??). Anyhoo, long story that I'm putting you thru in real time, we were told it was still okay to go ahead with the H1N1 shot (since neither was a mist), we did, and the Monkey's head wound and cough are slowly on the mend.

Today her class went to the Big Apple Circus (yeah, I'm jealous!), and when she came home I asked if she saw animals at the circus. "Yes!". What kinds of animals? "Boys. Boys and dogs." From the mouths of babes, kids.

Oooh, post-placement visit tomorrow. 2 year mark, sort of. Should be fun!

Tricks n' Treats

2009-11-02T18:50:00.005-05:00

I'll actually write stuff here when I get a minute, but ain't Halloween all about the pics anyway?

Kid-wise...

2009-10-23T09:05:00.003-04:00

Okay, okay, it's been a few weeks since I've posted...and even in that time, Alana's had the audacity to be growing up right in front of me.

The kid who could never be trusted with a crayon - more than 10 seconds in her possession and the entire apt was her canvas - will now often sit and draw with crayons, markers, whatever, with only a few stray marks off the paper. She'll also show her work to me very proudly, hunt down magnets, and post it on the fridge "by aself". (She does many things "by aself").

She used to grab and fling books from my hand, and wouldn't sit for me to read her even the shortest books. Then she sometimes would. Suddenly, now "I reada to you, mommy. Sit", and she either repeats the words of books she knows, or tells me her own version based on the pictures.

Because she couldn't talk (so who knew how much she could even remember?) I never knew anything about what went on in her school. Now I realized I know the names of all 12 kids in her class only because she's mentioned them (along with her teacher, 2 assistants, speech therapist, PT, and OT!). She tells me who's out sick each day, and geez...I can only hope there's some lapse in accuracy. She also remembers short shopping lists for me (way better than I can, yikes!), and calls me out on it later if I forget something.

She loves counting things and can count to 20, if you don't mind a little cheating (she usually skips 14 and 15). She does up to about 5 or so in Spanish - maybe higher and I just don't know? And suddenly...Princesses! I have a Princesses Sing-a-Long dvd, which she'll totally zone out to, and she's been asking me for the names of all the Princesses, most of which she knows by now. Sometimes I hear her singing the songs later. (Singing is still pretty new, btw...and there's lots of it!)

She's still very much the happy little lunatic and champion of all things silly and funny, and now just has these added tools at her disposal. I actually get notes from her teacher saying how much fun she is in class.

Potty training, btw, is still a work in progress. She's batting nearly 1000 at school, which is awesome, but tends to have lapses at home. On the upside, after she pees in her "little potty", she sometimes goes on to disassemble her potty, dump the little bowl out in the big potty, rinse the little bowl in the sink, and then ask me to help her put it back together. Not too shabby. Or she might just run off. Whichever.

We still have daredevil stunts that freak me out, moments of admitted "not listening", some pissy moods, and some mutually frustrating experiences of her wanting to "do it aself" when it's something she can't yet, or shouldn't be, doing herself - usually as the school bus is about to arrive. There are times I give myself a time-out and explain that mommy needs to calm down (a better example than downing a Stoli, right?), and times I tell her she needs to behave before mommy's brain explodes out her ears. (A chirpy "Mommy happy?" right after a bout of defiance usually means she's ready to oblige).

Oh, if you're familiar with Shark Tales, Alana does a mean Will Smith-doing-Oscar the Fish "old schoooool!". And my "I love you's" are often echoed with a loud and clear "I love you too, mommy!", so that's kinda priceless.

Oh, and in our non-Tech world...

2009-10-07T17:58:00.003-04:00

Tech %&$@

2009-10-07T08:11:00.002-04:00

My Facebook account has been down for "site maintenance" since Saturday morning. Followed all steps and submitted all doo-dads they suggest...and still no Facebook. I even set up a professional page, using a different email addy in attempt to bypass this, but guess what? You can't request friends unless you've got a personal page!

General internet access, which has nada to do with Facebook, has been...iffy. Since Monday.

A friend says techie glitches tend to happen when Mercury is in retrograde, and that is currently isn't, so there goes one explanation.

So, to ask the only question left...wtf???

Look Who's Talking

2009-09-29T08:28:00.003-04:00

So now that she's talking, what does she say? A few recent convo's:

- At dinner w. friends:

Me: Did you burp?

Monkey: Like a piggy! (we say that a lot - and she giggles)

Me: So what do you say?

Monkey: Oink!

- When I agreed we could go buy 'doodleberries', a made-up word from Wow Wow Wubbzy:

Me: (helping her on with her shoes) You'll have to pick which kind of doodleberries...there are raspberry doodleberries and strawb....

Monkey: WOOKA me, mommy! (holds my face tightly in both hands and stares at me) DOODLEBEWWIES!

- And my personal fave, when I dared ask her a question while she was trying to figure out the air conditioner...

Monkey: No talka a me, mommy, I busy. I free and a half, and I busy.

Shana Tovah!

2009-09-18T13:26:00.003-04:00

It means Happy New Year, folks, so whether you're Jewish or not, here's to ya!

In other news, I've been hearing "No Monkey...I Alana!". Oh noooooo!
And so far, the glasses have been (gasp!) staying on.

Bloggin' for Keeps

2009-09-15T08:46:00.005-04:00

Funny, I was at a party on Sunday afternoon (good chance you were there, too!), where a few of us talked about how easy Facebook makes it to slack on blogging. We put our pithy two cents out there and get instant feedback and interaction, not much thought required. No question it's easy and addictive, and I have no intention of 12-stepping myself off it anytime soon... but it's not a keepsake for the Monkey about her early years, and it's not a diary for me to express myself or organize thoughts or tell any stories in detail. So, with that footnote as the header, on with the blog.

Okay, well, I have no thoughts to organize or stories to tell in detail. :-)

Howzabout a general Monkey update, since things are moving...

- First off, I just love that while she can still be very defiant, yadda yadda, there are now so many things we can resolve using words and brief discussions. And she's always been a clown, but now has words and singing added to her repertoire, which means she can be a total pisser to hang with.
- Potty training is coming along. We had our first fully dry day yesterday, which gets a big woo-hoo! (Nite time doesn't count...we're still in Pull-Ups for that). Pooping in the potty is still a messy little challenge.
- The crib-bed transition is getting smoother. She still likes to goof around, but for the most part is fine with going to sleep in her Dora bed. She was asking for her crib back for a while (which woulda' been easy, since this is just that with one side popped off), but now she likes that I can sit on the bed and cuddle with her.
- She "WUV's" school! And I love that now she can tell me bits about what she does during the day, and sing parts of songs she learns. It's ridiculously cute. I also love the 6 hours I get to myself M-F. I don't love her bus driver, but that's for another time.
- Gymnastics class started this past weekend. She's taking it with her BFF Ashley down at Chelsea Piers, and loved the first day. How could she NOT!
- The Blessing that is Lia had her fourth BDay party - first one with her new, wonderful forever family - and we conquered a zillion transportation obstacles to get there. The Monkey ignored my tantrums and behaved like a little lady. And it was worth it! (Monkey got her face painted like a "buddy-fwy!" and couldn't stop talking about it - see pic!)
- Glasses! I'll leave off with this because we just picked them up last nite, and today's her first day at school with them. Oy...we'll see how it goes!

Potty Talk

2009-09-07T08:52:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, the Monkey sits on her potty, gets up and yells "Mommy, wook... a wittle tiny bit of poop!"...and yep, that's exactly what was in there. About 20 mins later I hear, from a naked Alana, "Mommy, mommy....wook, a BIG poop in the kitchen!" Oy.

5:30am this morning, her: "Mommy, mommm-my...I in the kitchen! I peed", looking sheepish. Me, scraping myself out of bed to go deal with it, "that's ok, sweetie, you have your Pull-Ups on!". Her, looking down: "Ohhh! Silly", giggling.

I'm sure there'll be more! Meanwhile, anyone have a clue why or HOW my hyper little munchkin hasn't been sleeping?? Won't nap, bounces around her room long after I've tucked her in, and these new delightful 5am wake-ups...help! She's active as ever during the day, even if she does look zombie-like half the time and frequently tells me she's tired...but then revs herself right up again. She starts school in 2 days and I've GOTTA have her rested! Shhhh...she's actually out cold on the couch right now.

Mouths of babes

2009-08-31T21:57:00.004-04:00

While out walking the pup tonite:

Monkey: I'm Alana (our last name), you Mommy Susan, I free and a half
Me: Yes, that's right
Monkey: You free and a half too, mommy?
Me: No, I'm a little older than that, sweetie
Monkey: I sorry, mommy (stroking my arm)

Meanwhile, there's a reason I call her the Monkey. Oy!

Speaking of development

2009-08-26T10:02:00.004-04:00

Wow, these last few days have been really pretty dramatic, in the good ways. (Something tells me more tantrums must be on the way??)

Potty:
We left off with that one full-fledged, but isolated potty pee several nites ago. Isolated until 2 nites ago, when the Monkey decided to pee in the potty again, and got VERY excited by the fanfare, fishy sticker and m&ms that we used to celebrate her accomplishment. I've used these same gimmicks before, mind you, and...nuthin'. It's been crystal clear for a long time that any attempts to potty train this defiant little person before she was damned good and ready was gonna be a very messy and probably fruitless process. In any case, she was so excited that we got a repeat performance again before bedtime, 3 more in the morning, a break for a full-day playdate with her boyfriend Dylan which she spent in Pull-Ups....and then innumerable successful pees in the potty once we got home. The roll continued this morning. Woo-hoo! A few mysteries remain about this. 1. The obvious, what made her decide to do it now? 2. How on earth did she manufacture ALL THAT PEE last nite for so many rapid repeat performances?? 3. She's been running around the apt naked these past 2 days with no accidents. Did her bladder suddenly learn a new trick? Has she been secretly practicing control in her Pull-Ups and decided she was ready to unveil this trick to the world? In any case, this is still very new, it doesn't yet include poops, and we'll see how it goes.....

Speech/Language:
Yes, still behind age level, but very much rolling along.

Transparency:
This was the thing that blew me away. Naturally, as her speech has been picking up, I've been getting glimpses into how much she actually knows and understands that I had no way to know before. All standard learning stuff...numbers, memory of what happens on TV shows, people's names, yadda yadda. Last nite, after I tucked her in to her new big-girl bed (oh right, we'll get to that!), she came back out talking incessantly about how Dylan hit her and it's never ever okay and she got ouchie ouchie and it's not okay and I'm mad! She went on an on and it was totally freakin' cute so we called Dylan's mom and Alana read her the riot act over the phone (Alana and Dylan totally love each other but they each have their less than angelic moments!). I put her back to bed, and over and over she'd come back out still going on about this, but adding new bits about the day - including that she took Dylan's flower pot (watering can) and "broke it but I didn't mean to"...and something about getting in trouble and on and on and on.... OMG, what's going on in this tiny little person's head! She was so sweet, and so obsessive, re-living every little detail of the very full day, over and over again, and probably doubly excited that she has the ability to actually tell me about it. With all the information about sensory-seekers and how they have a hard time calming their bodies for sleep, here was the epiphany that, like lots of us grown-ups, she couldn't calm her mind down for sleep! Part of me wanted to just yell "stay in bed already!", and part of me was totally fascinated and couldn't stop watching and listening to her and wanting to just wrap her up in a giant hug and tell her she's way too young to stress so much! So I told her it was all ok and did a little o' both. :-)

Big-girl bed:
Converted her crib into a toddler bed, and put on the little guard rails. Then...the bright pink, large, bold (read: cheesy) Dora bedding! She loves it, but between the fun bedding and the obvious freedom she's had a hard time staying in it. No surprise there. If it were up to me I'd never have done a bed transition and potty training in the same week but it wasn't up to me. I transitioned the bed on Friday, and the potty thing's been all her idea.

Her BFF Ashley comes back from a 2 week vacation today, camp ends Friday which leaves us a about 10 totally unscheduled days til school starts (yikes!) and we'll see how it all goes...

Jumpin' (and dodgin') the Gun

2009-08-20T21:04:00.003-04:00

Remember about a month back I cringed that the Monkey was re-entering a crazed-tantrum-producing 'developmental surge' phase? Ahhhh...false alarm. The tantrums didn't continue, and recently in fact, as in this past weekend, the Monkey and I spent 3 surprisingly fun, silly, agreeable days together - both sick, no less!

Of course, NOW.........!!!!!! 3rd spontaneous nuclear tantrum in a day and half. Ear-splitting screams, object-hurling, room-trashing, head-smashing, biting, hitting....rages on for a virtual eternity. Good times. On the flip side, rounding out this 'developmental' thing, we just celebrated her first real, full-fledged, pee-in-the-potty.

Oy. It's already dizzying around here.

Just 2 years?!

2009-08-12T21:20:00.007-04:00

Yup, it's 2 years to the day since I first met that tiny, pale, friendly little girl in the funny blue dress. Easy to remember b/c it's also her half birthday. Feels like forever ago! That also means that 2 years ago yesterday I hadn't even met her yet, and that just seems crazy.

We've sure come a long, loooooong, way! Love you, Monkey. :-)

Doggie frustration

2009-08-07T08:37:00.004-04:00

For an incredibly sweet, 14-yo beagle, you'd think Cassie would be a calm, mushy, and sedate lovable furry friend, right? Most of the time that's exactly what she is. Tolerant to the point of saintly with the mischievous and overzealous little Monkey! Of course, she also happens to have Cushings Disease, which, long and complicated story short, means she produces excess cortisol, that "stress hormone" you hear about on late-nite infomercials. Yep, the stuff that leads to excess belly fat, etc.

She's on meds for it, but lately the meds don't seem enough. As each twice-daily dose starts to wear off, she's a beagle on a wicked adrenaline rush... drinking and peeing like crazy, ravenously hungry, panting, twirling, jumping, and barking. The dog who used to love to sleep in now wakes me, and sometimes the Monkey, with this whole rigamarole at 6:30am daily. She gets her meds a short while later, with breakfast, and by 5:30 pm or so is back to the same, going especially nuts at dinnertime, which is when she gets her next dose.

Naturally, a call to the vet and some blood work was in order....let's up the meds and get those levels back to normal! Well, good news/bad news, all her blood work came back healthy and normal, which is great, and yes, in a perverse way that's also the bad news, because now we're reluctant to up her meds - too little cortisol could damage her kidneys.

Much as I love that my biggest problem with her at this age is getting her to stop jumping and calm down, this whole out o' control cranked-up business is making me nuts, and the barking that's part and parcel has to be making the neighbors nuts, too. (Remember, apartment living here!). I know it's not her fault, and I feel terrible yelling at her as much as I do. I'm trying to re-time when I give the meds, but there just doesn't seem to be a better way to do it.

HELP!!! Anyone else have a doggie w/Cushings, and any tips for management? Our vet is very empathetic but just seems out of ideas, too, other than trying to re-time the meds.

Mama's Nite Out

2009-07-29T09:07:00.008-04:00

We did it. My li'l Monkey and I spent a whole nite in separate places, each partying it up in our own ways.

For me, it meant an Amtrak ride to Philly and then a drive out to Phoenixville, for a party celebrating my friend Erin Riley's combo of (hard to believe!) 50th BDay, and the opening of her tres cool facility, Rock & Roll After School. (If you live in the Philly area and have a kid between 8-18, you've gotta check it out!). The place is amazing, the party was full of interesting peeps and impromptu musical performances, and I got to kick off the GAP clothes and Fit Flops that are practically stapled to me these days and slither into my impulse purchase from earlier in the day. Once back with the crew at Chez Riley, I couldn't quite hang with the big kids - I wussed out and called it a nite at 4am - so I still got a smidge of sleep and some yummy pancakes before heading back up to the Big Apple the next day.

For the Monkey, it was a slumber party with Ashley and her folks. In spite of expecting that I'd come back to find the kids trashing the place, and the grown-ups cowering over a bottle of vodka in the corner, trembling, it seems they went on fun little excursions, baked cookies, and all had a good ol' time. Oh, and when I showed up on Sunday and asked if she was ready to come home, the Monkey put on her thinking face, and said "ummmm....nope!". (Thanks, Shellie, thanks, Devin!)

Ugggh...THIS again?

2009-07-24T01:35:00.002-04:00

Remember those crazy tantrums the Monkey was throwing several momths back? The insane ones with kicking, biting, screaming, head banging, etc? The ones that accompany "developmental surges" according to our dear author of "the Spirited Child?"

They're baa-aack. Right, apparently, on schedule.

There's GOTTA be a bottle of Pinot around here someplace....

Monkey n' Me (plus pics!)

2009-07-22T12:00:00.007-04:00

Bad blogger, bad blogger! (ouch!) :-)

Yes, it's easy to get lazy, especially when there are lots of little day-to-day things going on, every one of which you plan to blog about, yet nothing particularly dramatic. It's just hard to get it together to compose something coherent. Case in point! But, the day-to-day is just as important, isn't it?

Since Monkey's started pre-school she's had to bid au dieu to her EI folks, which is a shame, but they're all local enough that we do expect to continue seeing their welcome faces from time to time. She's turned into a little speed demon on her scooter, really amazing me with her coordination and focus (yes, focus!) on the thing. She zips around the lobby, the playground, the neighborhood, and I often hear "wheee!" as she zips by me in the apartment, grinning and naked. She's mastered sliding down the pole in the playground - yes, even the one she has to lean into off a 6 ft. high platform - and I figure in this economy it's good to have a kid who can learn to pole-dance. She constantly asks to go swimming or to the beach, and while our access to both is limited, we've made it out to "Choe beach!" (Chloe's beach) a few times, as well as my cousin's fantabulous swimming pool. I'm told she's a happy little ball of energy at preschool, and naturally every couple of days she comes off the bus sporting a new Band-aid and packing a note from the nurse. In my proud mommy-coup, she'd been complaining "no bus!" a few mornings in a row, and not wanting to go to school. After her teacher and the principal assured me she's always happy and bouncy there, never asking for mommy or to go home, I had the eureka! - maybe she's just bored on the bus?? So I asked if she wanted to take a book on the bus with her, she said "Sure, mommy!" and now she's fine. (Bonus: "Potty book!"). She also likes to march around, clownishly, singing loudly and proudly. It's hilarious. The scary thing? She comes home after an 8:15am - 2:15pm school day, nap-free, cranked up something fierce and ready to rock the rest of the day. And she's not even 3 1/2. Yikes!

Meanwhile, having her in school is a beautiful thing for us both. I get some MUCH needed "me" time, can clean, shop (woo-hoo!) and also get myself back into the multiple grooves of coaching. I also have time to 'trol thru eHarmony, yadda yadda, although... ugggh. Hey, a girl's gotta try!

Check back later...I'll add kiddie pics! (Here ya go...as promised)

Big Kid School!

2009-07-07T16:57:00.004-04:00

Yep, the Monkey's started pre-school summer session, and when asked if she likes it, excitedly responds, "I WUV it!!". That's awesome. Especially awesome since it's a long day, most of the kids in her class are boys, and most seem much bigger (some have turned 4). And she looks so darned cute boarding the little yellow school bus under her seemingly enormous ladybug backpack.

Now, does she come home exhausted? Yes. Really exhausted? Yes. So exhausted that she gets really obnoxious, throws things, and screams a lot? Yes. Will she nap? No.

Oy!

Okay, I"ll Start...

2009-07-01T20:54:00.002-04:00

I've been thinking, since pretty much all parents discover their own tricks and tips along the way, why not get crazy and share some of them? Hell, pretty much anyone can occasionally use some help dealing with a munchkin.

Sooo...a few of my fave, if slightly lesser known, products and tips:

1. The coolest discovery, especially since I double as a gadget geek. Featured in the Duracell commercial...the Brickhouse Security Child Locator. If the munchkin in question is "a runner", is on the spectrum, or hell, pretty much any kid can disappear in a second at the beach, in a museum, amusement park, street fair, etc. Between its wander alert and its locate function, not to mention that the wristbands make the tags virtually waterproof, this thing rocks.

2. Bibsters! Pampers makes these cute little disposable bibs, great for restaurants, dinner w/friends, ice cream in the stroller...Bibsters. I'm tellin' ya.

3. Ahh, the crib tent. It certainly wasn't a surprise when the Monkey started hopping out of her crib - it was the moment I'd dreaded for months. I blogged about it, and tried following the advice of calmly, without eye contact, returning her to her crib until she gets bored and stops. It took about a day to realize that the only thing returning her to her crib accomplished was giving her more practice hopping out. No exaggeration, it got to where I'd put her in, turn around, and she'd literally follow me right out the room with a big ol' grin. Then there are those intermittent nuclear tantrums, the crazy ones where she'll trash the place if I just let her rage. Did I mention, the crib tent!

4. Empty yogurt and applesauce containers, or any containers in a variety of shapes and sizes. No added purchase required! Kid getting ansty? Cranky? Need a rainy day activity? Fill - or half fill - a couple of containers with water. Fill others with whatever ya got lying around...dry rice, shaving cream, dry beans, whatever. Put them in a big tray, even a high chair tray, and ...voila! A sensory activity table. (2's and 3's LOVE pouring water!)

5. Hand puppets, minus the puppets. Yep, your very own mitts. They can be all sorts of characters, they can talk to your kid, to each other, they can kiss, yell, run away...and they're always, um, handy. Seriously, think your kid's too smart to go for it? Try!

Most of my other faves are specific to sensory junkies like the Monkey, and I'd be happy to talk to anyone about ideas there. Now....I need more tips, too!!!! So how 'bout, if you've read this, consider yourself tagged! If you have a blog, you can certainly post your tips there, and/or, post 'em right here as a comment. We're waiting!

Call me crazy...

2009-06-20T19:52:00.002-04:00

I get a kick out of the fact that my Russian-American daughter - speech-delayed, no less - loves to thank me in Chinese. It's all about Kai-Lan these days!

Pre-School's a Go!

2009-06-17T11:44:00.002-04:00

Yep, got approval just in time for the Monkey to start pre-school with the summer session, right after July 4th Weekend. Yay! Of course we'll have to see how the reality matches up with my current impression, but it seems like a great place for her. They boast an active program, she'll get her speech therapy there, she was happy as a clam ricocheting around the place during our tour, and they adored her. They're also located right near the park, and I'm told they do lots of little trips there during the summer. So last nite I went on Amazon.com, Monkey on my lap, and picked out a backpack and lunch bag.
If you must know, Monkey opted for the ladybug motiff.

"I Woke Last Nite to the Sound of Thunder..."

2009-06-09T12:47:00.006-04:00

It was kind of a big deal in the tri-state area overnite. Insanely loud, crashing, hi-rise rattling thunderstorms that hinted none too subtly at the apocolypse. And yet, I find out that the Monkey was not the only child to have, well, slept like a baby. Amazing.

And after my spending half the night wide awake, periodically blinded by flashes of lightning and clinging to the ceiling fixture (kind of a fun visual, since I had my ceiling fan on), the Monkey woke me up entirely too early and ready to rock. Zzzzzz....

Anyway, pre-school plans are now taking center stage here. Wish us luck, the principal of the school I most wanted for Alana has a meeting with our school district administrator next Tuesday, to try and get approval for Alana to start this July, in their summer session. It's considered special ed, due to her speech delay, so paperwork is currently being gathered and copied, and fingers are crossed. It would probably mean an end to our E.I. services, which is a big shame to say goodbye to, but the pluses are too big to ignore. Mon -Fri, 8:30am - 2pm, in the neighborhood, with door-to-door bussing. This means a whole new opp for Mommy here to focus on her own thing, her coaching career, and to actually have time slots available to new clients. Oh, and there's a really nifty rooftop playground.

Otherwise, things are always nutty and interesting but nothing distinctly blog-worthy. "Monkey Island!", "puddle-jumping", and "aww. SOME!" are commonly heard around here.

Last but not least, hugest congratulations to my friend who has seriously put her heart and soul into an amazingly long and arduous adoption journey (an over-used phrase, but it truly applies here!), and is at this very moment canoodling on the other side of the world with her - officially signed-and-stamped - beautiful, delicious daughter. In what appears to be a coincidence, Alana is now absolutely obsessed with Noggin's "Ni Hao Kai-Lan", so when this new little munchkin arrives in the States, there'll be a three-year-old Chinese-speaking Russia-American Monkey waiting to greet her.

For Kate....

2009-05-24T01:33:00.006-04:00

...and everyone else who was getting icked out by the hand shots.

It's all in eye of the beholder, but sure, let's post some new stuff!

Not for the Squeamish

2009-05-17T22:01:00.005-04:00

I'm just happy to note the dramatic improvement in the Monkey's hand from last Saturday - 2 full days after the elevator incident - to this Saturday. She seems to have full use - coloring, climbing, using a spoon, tossing toys indescriminately, etc. She's also been a bit clingier, and mentions the accident every time we wait for the elevator, which may be a good thing. It's just hard to see the poor, tough little thing actually tramautized. Again, though, can't say I blame her...I sure was!

Fingers and Elevator Doors Don't Mix Well

2009-05-11T22:02:00.009-04:00

So, this past Thursday I was about to meet up with Alana's BFF Ashley's mom, to head off to a taping of The View. I left my apt and was waiting for the elevator with the li'l Monkey, when she happened to put her hand on the elevator door...just as it started to slide open, behind the stationary door. There's not much of a gap between the two - much less than an inch - but apparently just enough for a little hand to get wedged in and sucked in further as the door slides open. Turns out, not enough to get out quite as easily. I had to pull my poor, screaming little one's hand out as it was getting wedged in, and in additon to some scraped-up knuckles, the skin of her palm was pretty much ripped clear off. (Well, not fully off...it was still hanging on by one side!). It took a minute to figure out exactly what the injury was and wasn't, and ugggh, it looked every bit as nasty as it sounds (and yes...I was freaking until it occured to me that my looking terrified probably wasn't helping her very much, and that maybe calm and reassuring was a better way to go!). The pain had to be absolutely excruciating. Alana's got a freakishly high pain threshold, and the poor thing was screaming for about an hour...back into our apt, while I tended to the injury (ran under cold water, iced, Neosporin-ed, wrapped in gauze...and called the doctor!), on the way to the doctor, and in the waiting room. Screaming. A lot. Sure as heck couldn't blame her.

Anyway, the good news is it seems to be healing, and once she'd had her first dose of Motrin, followed by a BIG cup of chocolate ice cream from Shake Shak, the pain and screaming let up dramatically. I skipped The View that day, but we kept our intended playdate with Ashley, and the Monkey's been quite the sport. Of course, while she has yet to put together a full sentence about the event, the usually uber-bubbly Alana will still hold up her bandaged hand and, with a forlorn look, say "doors"... "hurt"... "I scared"... "I sorry". I've spoken with my building's managment company, and supposedly they're looking into putting safety guards on the doors to protect the oodles of other little kiddies in the building from this sort of thing.

On another note, we had a terrific time on a beautiful Mother's Day out at Mickel's family's place, where the Monkey was up to her usual gymnastics, gardening, and flirtin' with the boys. A belated very Happy Mother's Day to all, and I'll post more pics here soon!!!

"..and MORE!"

2009-05-03T00:51:00.007-04:00

Saying mutual "I love you's" strikes me as a sweet if pretty typical part of most kids' bedtime routines. When you're a mom by adoption, though (hey, I kinda like that - "mom by adoption!"), and your little one has a speech delay, well...you're much more likely to blog about it.

During tuck-in, I've always told the Monkey I love her, and then launch into a whole deal starting with a teeny hand gesture, "Do I love you this much? Nooo...", then move my hands further apart, "This much? Noo..."... and we continue til my arms are wide open and I answer my own question with "yes...and more!". Lately, she's happily taken to answering the questions herself, which is great. Tonite, after we finished, she added, "mommy, mommy, mommy... I love YOU!". Awww! (She may or may not have said it before, but it was never clear enough to be sure!). I started the gesture game, tweaking the questions appropriately, finishing with, "Do you love me thiiiiiiiiiis much?", and the little Monkey excitedly answering, "Yes...and MORE!!!"

So I forgave a ton of crap from during the day. :-)

Speaking of during the day, we dropped by at a block party where the Monkey totally rocked one of those jumbo, inflated obstacle course thingies...a HUGE one, that included an at-least-8-foot-high climbing wall...yikes!!!

Congratulations!

2009-05-01T14:43:00.002-04:00

Just a shout-out to someone who got some very, very good news after a very, very long time!!! :-D

Nite, Nite Moon

2009-04-30T08:23:00.005-04:00

As I think I've mentioned, the Monkey's speech has really been rolling along recently - yep, floodgates time! - after a very long stretch with only minimal progress. So while it's still behind age level, now we're not just labelling a few objects, but starting to express more ideas. Such as....

The other nite, after we got in from walking Cassie, the Monkey headed straight to her backpack. Why? To get a ladder, silly. Why did she want a ladder? To get the moon down from the sky, so she could give it a hug!

This was a convo that started mid-dogwalk when she noticed the moon, got very excited, and decided she wanted to take it down. Resourceful little Monkey that she is, the strategy was immediately clear - climb up on a ladder, that she can get from her backpack. And the ladder idea comes from no lack of spatial sense....on her fave show, Wow Wow Wubbzy, there's an episode where someone takes a tiny ladder, waters it, and it shoots way up to become oodles more functional. Anyhoo, our very lively and somewhat repetitive conversation entertained lots of outdoor diners en route, and when we came in, though I feared things could turn pretty darned ugly if I refused to let her go back outside onto the busy streets with our utility ladder, she was actually intrigued with the moon photos I instantly accessed online.

Can't wait to see what happens tonite.

Ah, Share the Moment With Me

2009-04-24T01:09:00.007-04:00

So there I was, watching the Monkey and her BFF Ashley for a few hours tonite.
2 mins after her folks leave, Ashley (naturally) announces "poopie!". So we head to my room, and as we're all walking - Alana's a rabid spectator of diaper-changing events - Alana, who tends to conceal her own accomplishments, announces "poop", too. I check, there's our favorite trio of zip, zilch, nada, so we all partake in changing Ash. Mission now accomplished, Alana's persistent with her "poop" claim, so what the heck, I begin changing her, too. Mid-Alana-change, I hear Ashley saying "ouchie, ouchie!", and look over to see she's getting her hair sucked into the propeller of a battery-op airplane. Yikes...I did that plenty as a kid, and ya gotta act fast! I turn it off, and try to twist out as much of the poor strand as possible, but realize we're gonna have to surgically remove the plane. Of course, her mom's gonna LOVE the hair snip. (Oopsie 'bout that, Shell!). Anyhoo, I walk Ashley out of the room, holding onto both her and the airplane that's still attached by a strand of long, shiny dark hair, and we find a scissor to do the dirty deed. Whew...it's done. "Poop!" I hear the Monkey say - and I largely ignore - till I see a big ol' chunk o' poopie on the floor, right in front of my foot! I look to the dog, but then notice from a glance towards the bottom of her T-shirt that Alana's running around bare-a$$ed, and there's the Pull-Up still laying on the bed, looking clean and freshly removed....Ugggggggggh!!! Now...(tune out here if you're squeamish, kids!), I've gotta block the dog with my leg, because she's headed straight towards what she'd consider a tasty little morsel...I'm still holding the airplane...trying to avoid stepping in kiddie poop, and also trying to get a look at Alana's butt to see if anything's still, umm, 'going on'! Oh, and I'm trying to hold BFF Ashley back, because clearly there's a hullabaloo, and who'd wanna miss out?? Anyhoo, I twisted, juggled, and did what I had to do...and as is typical of the insane, virtually laughed my a$$ off.

Seriously, though...isn't it written somewhere that Thursday nites are for canoodling with inappropriate boys, and 2-for-1 Stoli-O's?

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to Pre-Schools We Go

2009-04-22T08:48:00.002-04:00

The li'l Monkey's speech has really been picking up these past 2-3 days, but nonetheless we're off to audit pre-school classes for September thru the CPSE program so she can best play speech/ languague catch-up. So, we're off to one school today, then a couple more in the next few weeks. Should be interesting!

Riddle me this

2009-04-04T09:48:00.007-04:00

So, about the Madonna thing...

We know by now that the judge denied her adoption petition due to residency laws, and fear of "opening doors to child trafficking" if they're violated. But my question is, residency laws aside, does anyone know why this little girl is even eligible for adoption? I haven't seen any article yet which makes this clear. Apparently the girl's mom had died after giving birth, and the girl is currently living in the orphanage. But protesters, who early on included the girl's uncle, say the girl will be better off raised by her own family. So if this is an option, and she's in the orphanage temporarily because her family can't provide for her at the moment, why on Earth would she be available for adoption in the first place? I don't want to rush to judgement here, because I admittedly don't know what the deal is, but if that's it, then isn't that kind of like taking someone's wallet because they put it down for a second?? And haven't we already seen this same country allow Madonna to skip out, carrying a small child as his father screams, "Hey, I didn't mean she could KEEP him!" ?? I'm not familiar with the adoption laws of that many countries, but anyone who's dealt with Russia or China knows that there's no internat'l adoption situation in the first place unless the birth family's rights have been legally terminated or they've signed off every step of the way, as in the case of Russia; or they've completely and usually anonymously abandoned the child, in the case of China. So I'm wondering what the story is on that end, since - color me silly! - but taking kids from families who want them kinda seems way more relevant than residency laws.

Moving right along...

2009-03-29T22:04:00.006-04:00

Okay, okay....I've been a lame blogger!

I've been sidelined the past couple of days with a nasty strep throat, so head's still a little fuzzy and throat's still a bit scratchy. Thank goodness the Monkey, who threw a few more seriously disturbing tantrums after my last post about it, went tantrum-free and made these days far easier than she might have. Of course, I can't say she didn't test and milk mom's inability to yell, but what kid wouldn't?

In a total non-sequiter (hey, it's my blog), two things that just leave me dumbfounded these days: Men, and Madonna. Men, because in my limited current experiences one would hope that I'd be dodging the creepy and bizarre, but nooooo; and Madonna because this crazy woman is somehow essentially kidnapping kids from Mulawi, and calling it adoption. And they're letting her do it because she's a big contributor. Sooo....blackmail? Wtf??? C'mon, you know you're thinkng it, too.

Anyway, right now it's 10:15pm and the little one's still awake in her crib, after cleverly creating multiple crises that only mommy could resolve, but in the morning it'll be her first day back at school after a 2 week vacay, and I'm quite delighted. It's only two hours, but it's time I have for me, and besides, that's my time to clean. Trust me, the 2 week vacay has taken its toll on this poor place.

Here's a pic of the Monkey this weekend. Sure, I know lots of kids love trying on Mommy's high heels, but actually being comfy in them struck me as distinctly Russian.

Trifecta of Justice

2009-03-13T23:07:00.003-04:00

Bernie Madoff (finally!) sent straight to the slammer.
Howard Stern (Anna Nicole's creep) (finally!) arrested. Ok, he's out on bail, but still...
Casey Anthony's wild post-Caylee-disappearance party pics released...and they're pretty damning. Redundant, with the already overwhelming evidence, but damning.

Lots more could be said about each, but at the very least...yes...yes...yes!

Tantrums, Tantrums

2009-03-10T14:20:00.003-04:00

Holy cow, I've been a delinquent little blogger. No real reason, just a lot of nuttiness going on, and yet nothing really to blog about.

About myself, I'm once again making an effort to get my A-S-S out and into grown-up social scenes, such as they may be. The guy scene is, ooh, let's say less-than-inspiring out there, but I went out with the girls to see a friend's band play on Saturday nite, and that's always a fun nite out. Gotta do more!

Now, back to...oh yes, tantrums. Lots. L-L-L-loud. Long. Looney-freakin'-tunes. Sunday alone had this mama teetering on the edge, guzzling 2 Mike's Hard ones back-to-back just for a smidge of sanity. (Why DO I let myself run out of wine? Note to self: buy some). Sure....just ignore 'em. Easier said than done, though, when they're a) in public and she'll run into the street in a rage if I let her, and/or b) involve her new little head-banging trick, not to mention hurling hard objects at the dog.

Flip side, of course, her speech/language is coming along at a nice clip, and she's had a growth spurt...all her old pants are suddenly flood-length. She also switches out of tantrum mode in a nano-second, right back into funny, silly, huggy-kissy cute little Monkey mode - and she's positively awesome when she's there. I'm trying - TRYING - to do a better job of anticipating tantrum triggers and launching preemptive strikes. Some of these strikes involve chocolate pudding.

I've picked up both Raising Your Spirited Child, and Raising the Sensory Smart Child, and I highly recommend both. The Spirited Child totally validated my theory about what's going on with the Monkey. In its section on "developmental surges", it says to expect trouble around kiddies' birthdays and half-birthdays, when their old way of thinking and processing essentially breaks down and rebuilds in a more complex way... and that during this process all sorts of behavioral havoc is wreaked. I think that's nail on the head here.

Anyhoo, between rages we had an awesome time at a big blowout kiddie birthday party on Sunday, and so far (did I mention, "so far") we've been having an entertaining, tantrum-free day and a half. Whew!~.

'Funnest' BDay Celebration Ever?

2009-02-16T09:51:00.011-05:00

Thanks to the awesome crew at NY Kids Club and a rockin' bunch of kiddies, the Monkey's "Jump 'n Jive" party was a hit. And in fact, the festivities pretty much went on all day - a lot of it mimosa and vino-fueled for the grown-ups - and didn't truly end til early this morning, since Chloe and her mama Laurie stayed over for a slumber party, including a late-nite ice cream outing. Lots of pics to go thru - mostly sucky shots, of course, thanks to the dang digital delay - but thought I'd start with these, and a video from the impromptu after-party. (Crap, I wish I had this many cute boys at MY parties!!).

Meanwhile, she's suddenly talking in short sentences, I'm more 'mommy' instead of 'mama', and thank goodness, at least for now, her 3-day head-spinning manic streak of last week is gone. Yep... at least for now....

Guess Who's Turning 3!

2009-02-11T23:25:00.005-05:00

Happy Birthday, little Monkey!!! (Okay, it's really tomorrow, the 12th, but whatever)

It's so bizarre that the 'baby' I've had for less than 14 months can be turning 3, but so it goes. I've been telling her the past few days that this is her last chance to act like a 2-year-old with impunity (how do you tell a 2-year-old to stop acting like one, right?), so to go for it! And she has. Oy. Mostly it's the stunts. The manic tears she goes on, all cranked up and creating crazy safety hazards where none exist to your average nutty kid.

That's just with me, though. People who've watched her without me around have all been reporting a mellower, better-behaved, more focused Alana, so go figure. In any case, my beautiful, lovable, mushy-gushy little munchkin is turning 3, and that already makes me feel like she's growing up too fast.

Btw, bonus points to readers who can remember 2 little trivia tidbits about her birthdate, both mentioned previously in this blog. Tick...tock....tick....tock....

Okay then! 1. It was her birthdate (2/12) and birth weight (2lbs, 12 oz.) both read as "212", which convinced me she was destined to be a New York City girl during some of the adoption process glitches, and 2. she shares a birthday with her often-alleged look-alike, Christina Ricci. In any case, you can all relax. I ain't gonna sing.

Monkey bits (updated!)

2009-02-05T22:28:00.008-05:00

I know, I know...I've been a lazy-ass blogger. No reason, just nothing much to post.

So... with her 3rd birthday around the corner, I'm thinking I should write down some of Alana's charming little quirks, and again...if I write 'em on paper, I'll never find it, so why not here? I'll just keep on adding 'em...

Recent stuff:
1. 1001 ways to say "no": matter-of-fact "no"; slow "noooo"; low growly "nuuuuu"; my personal faves, in a tie, "no WAY!" and "I NOT!"
2. Kissing goodnite thru her mesh crib tent
3. Kissing goodnite thru her mesh crib tent, working our way thru each slat in the crib
4. Cassie is the "Woo", because beagles say "ah-woooo!". Every nite the Monkey leans out of her crib and says "Nite nite, Woo!". And she always tells me when "mama, mama...Woo need help!"
5. She hugs and kisses me after time-outs...and pushes her time-out chair back to the table
6. She's surprisingly good about sharing toys with other kids, and giving things back.
7. She's surprisingly bad about taking MY things, and grinning, "no, no, no!" when I try to get them back.
8. The daredevil stunts. Oh, the hair-raising monkey-on-crack daredevil stunts....
9. Bouncy piggyback rides.
10. She loves running up to people she likes and planting a smooch on their leg. Umm...she's getting too tall to still do this.
11. She thinks it's funny to lick my face. She's like a little puppy.
12. She likes her friends, but she likes their daddies more.
13. Monsters, Inc. was running in our DVD player 24/7 for the past 10 days. She LOVES this movie. Any time it was off, or we did anything else, I'd hear "moo-ie, moo-ie!". She's been doing monster roars and shouting "boo!" a LOT.
14. Tonite I finally replaced it with Horton Hears a Who. Now a tiny, noisy elephant is running around the apartment.
*15. Kissy-crosses. Very continental, and then some. I have no idea where she got this from:

16. She likes when I sing her to sleep with Mockingbird, even though I'm tone deaf to the 'nth' degree. (I make up the last few verses, and start over again...and again)
17. If it kisses or eats, it's hilarious.

Wackadoodle Stunt #3427

2009-01-25T10:15:00.004-05:00

Note to Ann Marie: No, silly, that didn't make me proud. THIS kinda did, though! (the top of the cubby case is about 6 ft high!)

A clock by any other name...

2009-01-19T14:33:00.004-05:00

One day last week, I came in from walking the furry kid while Alana was in the apt with her EI therapist, Nicole. Nicole was trying to get Alana to show me which little picture she'd been working on matching on a little board they use. Apparently, the Monkey'd become fixated on the pic and excitedly repeating her new word, "Clock". Except, Alana can't really say her "L's" yet. (take a second...). Nicole had been busting a gut waiting for me to come back and hear this!

Anyway, that's the same day we ended up in the emergency room. Suffice it to say there was a clock on the waiting room wall.

Yikes. :-)~

Meanwhile, with all the snow we've been getting, sledding is our new fave activity. Sometimes just us, or, like yesterday, with boyfriend Dylan and BFF Ashley all in the same sled. Cool by me...I luvvvv sledding!

Deja vu, all over again!

2009-01-15T00:04:00.008-05:00

So one night last year, right around this time, the Monkey and I found ourselves headed to the emergency room shortly after dinner because of an eye injury. (Yes the great spork incident of '08). Tonite....guess what! Yep. New York Presbyterian again (they have a cool kiddie waiting room), with cuts around her left eye, somehow sustained in a scuffle when she slipped and fell on the dog. There wasn't much bleeding, but enough screaming, some swelling, and eye proximity to make me bundle us both up and head out. The good news is the cuts seem largely superficial, and also that the consensus is it doesn't look like a bite...much more likely paw-inflicted. Anyway, there was an awful lot of screaming and thrashing when they had to clean out the cuts, a brief debate over 'to stitch or not to stitch' (we didn't), and they loaded her up w/antibiotics.

The first hour we were there I was all proud of both of us, me being better prepared with some cool occupy toys, and her handling the waiting room situation much better. Then....the rest was a replay of last year with her running off, every which way (okay, mostly to the fish tank, but once to the main exit, and several times into other patients cubes!) at every opportunity...which was virtually constant. Ugggggh! Pretty much everyone, including me, was pretty sure she'd need to be treated for more than just the one injury before we were done. The nurses thought she was adorable, some were convinced she's really a boy, and they all felt sorry for me by the end of nite, underneath their giggles. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna check for messages on the cell that I dropped in the cab on the way over and which was somehow - wonderfully! - returned to me by my friend Lil, the story of which I'll find out in the a.m. For now, my nerves are shot. Zzzzz.....

ADDENDUM: Did I mention that the rails on the sides of hospital beds can, in fact, be used as gymnastic equipment, as can the bars connecting the row of chairs in the waiting room? Or that blood pressure monitors are excellent tinker toys, especially if one has to fly down the hall and jump onto a swivel chair to get to it? The security guy was freaking that she was gonna lose a finger in the automatic doors, and the doc herself was "getting chest pains watching her!". I should rent her out to find the weak links in Monkey-proofing. I could make BIG $$$.

Thoughts of the Day

2009-01-10T14:49:00.004-05:00

First and foremost, it's five years (five years today, according to the Hebrew calendar) that my mom's been gone, so she's been very much in my thoughts this week. I know a lot of people commented last year that they, too, always felt a connection between their kids (either by birth or adoption) and parents they'd lost. Funny, all week anytime the Monkey's done something funny, silly, or downright infuriating, I imagine my mom here, enjoying it and reacting to it all. I tell the Monkey all the time how her grandma Alice, who she's named for, would've eaten her up with a spoon and left none for me! And it's absolutely true -my mother would've been soooo entertained, a wee bit horrified, and totally smitten. Needless to say it's an awful shame that she's gone, and not really here to enjoy it, but at least in a way it's kind of nice realizing that her memory is still that much alive. I miss you, Mom!

Secondly, (and goodness knows WHAT my mom would've made of this one!) is I've found myself in an indirect but bizarre email exchange with my very ex-husband's wife. (For those uninitiated, my ex is sort of a Madoff wannabee). I won't detail here, but just...yikes.

Otherwise, it's same ol' song and dance. I got out to celebrate a couple of friends' birthdays this past week, so that was fun and refreshing. The Monkey's getting to be something of an item with her younger man, rockstar Dylan, although she's absolutely shameless with the over-40 guys. (How'd she get to be MY competition??). And, her BFF Ashley is due back in 3 days, and we can't wait. (Hi Ashley!!!) :-)

Now just as soon as she's up from her nap, we's got some snow that needs playin' in!

3..2...1...

2009-01-01T14:47:00.007-05:00

Yep, the Monkey and her monkey-ish boyfriend Dylan rang in the New Year like rockstars. (Hey, at least ONE of us had a cute date!)

Happy New Year to All....

2008-12-31T08:32:00.003-05:00

...and to all, a good nite!

Best wishes for all the best stuff (health, happiness....and who knows, maybe some good surprises??) in 2009!

Be safe tonite. Please drink responsibly.

blah, blah Blog? (w. PS)

2008-12-30T15:38:00.005-05:00

So, about this blog...

Not that it was ever 'officially' an adoption blog, but that's mostly what it's been, save for the initial entries from my solo extravaganza to Italy that kicked this thing off. And now, with 'baby' home for over a year, I'm hitting that point that all the official adoption bloggers hit - that point when the adoption itself is....done. It's a wrap. So now, moving forward, it's really about a (big) girl and her dog and her kid and her career and her (mostly imaginary) social life. Oh, and her thoughts. Those pesky, frisky, ironic, bizarre little things that live, breed, and jump around in her head. (After all, the title's always been Slink's Thinks, and Slink still thinks!) Not to imply that the Monkey Girl won't continue in her leading role - why the heck else would anyone stop by?? - it'll just be in a fresher context.

But WAIT......

Before we get crazy and wrap up the Adoption segment, I do have some thoughts to share about the big A. Mostly because I've been very disturbed to hear about Russia slowing down their program, and their increased reluctance to adopt out to Americans. They claim to have a variety of reasons for this, but of course the victims are obviously the kids. You can't imagine how often I look at the happy, beautiful little wackadoodle running around my apartment, and imagine how with no internat'l adoption, she'd be growing up in northern Russia, still living in the orphanage, with nothing to call her own, probably adored by her caretakers but really loved by no one. I think of how she'd never get the attention, the opportunities, and the love that she so obviously deserves - or the chance to see how she makes her mama light up! There are thousands of kids living there that way right now, just as she was 'til a year ago. All kids who know that they are, quite literally, unwanted, with no clue how special they are inside. (You see, before any Russian orphan babies or kids are eligible to be adopted out internationally, they need to be listed on the domestic registry for at least 8 months, and these days they need to be seen - and refused - by at least 3 Russian families in that time). There are so many yummy rock stars of the adoption blog world who I, and a lot of you, have gotten to know and love, whether thru blogs or in real life: Czar Alexander, Cupcake, Tiger & Prince, Vika & Eamon (who hail from the same charming if nippy town as Alana!), just to name a few. But there are so many more left behind, and I think any of us who've been to an orphanage think about them a lot.

What's my point, again? Oh, yeah. You and I have pretty much no control over what Russia decides to do with their program. They're encouraging more domestic adoptions, foster care, etc, each of which comes with its pros and cons. But for anyone who's reading this, and may be considering whether to adopt or not, there are oodles of countries, including Russia - and the U.S.! - which are open. True, they nearly all make it just soooo damned difficult, but adoption rocks. And for you and one (maybe two!) very lucky kid(s), it may absolutely be the way to go.

PS> Oh my goodness, how could I forget to include Alek & Maks?? Especially since Maks, like Eamon, lived in the very same baby home as the Monkey!

..and one year HOME

2008-12-22T19:19:00.002-05:00

Yep, rounding out the trilogy of anniversaries, a year ago tonite, after 10 straight hours of Monkey %&*$#&%+# between Moscow and JFK, the newest little American and I arrived home together at my - our - apartment for the very first time.

Happy Home Day, and a Happy Chanukah to all!

Yowsa...a Year!

2008-12-19T15:34:00.015-05:00

As I mentioned below, the day I actually took custody of my little Monkey - finally out of the watchful eye of various Russian authorities and getting to really BE the mama - is the day that feels most like Family Day (I'm kinda diggin' "Together Day") to me. It's been really wild looking through old pictures from that trip these past couple of days. Seeing Murmansk again, covered in the nightly-falling snow...Mama Mia's Pizza (home of the best reindeer pizza I've ever had!), Cafe Luda, etc...and of course visits with the Monkey Girl. It feels like ages ago. Of course, it's also hard to believe that it's already a whole year. We all know that weird feeling! Flashing back to the day I took custody - the most amazing day! - it all seems SO freakin' surreal. The longest day ever, sort of. (Because the monkey is spinning in circles and singing right next to me, I'm gonna borrow some of this next part from an old post!):

What a crazy day it must've been for her. She woke up, for the 19th freakin' time, in isolation in that grungy infectious diseases hospital, and ate breakfast. At last, she was released and taken back to the orphanage, the only home she'd ever known. After lunch and potty time with all her old friends, I met her there, the staff changed her into the clothes I'd brought, said their goodbyes, and we whisked her back to my hotel room where she spent a couple of hours happily exploring the room and playing games with me. I'd wondered a lot about how she'd handle this whole crazy transition, but if she was nervous or anxious about any of it, it sure didn't show!

As far as I know, this was her first time ever being anywhere outside of the orphanage and the hospital. Next, we were bundled up again and off driving to the airport, where we'd have to hang for a while before our 2-hour flight to Moscow, along with the 2 German families. It was on this flight where I first saw how much this kid could eat! After the flight and rounding up our luggage we were met by van at Sheremetyevo Airport for the drive into Moscow, and each family dropped off at our respective hotels. In our case, it was the fancy-schmanciest of all the Marriotts, since the Courtyard was booked up for that first nite. The staff brought us up complimentary champagne and apple juice (anybody's guess which was for who), the Monkey girl explored the room and played excitedly in the palatial bathroom, tossed things around the room, and glimpsed TV for what I believe to be the first time. (It was a glitzy fashion runway show - and I remember Bowie was blasting!). She then quietly fell asleep in the little porta-crib, listening to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the wind-up stuffed monkey (total coincidence, folks!) that my neighbor, Sophie, had given me for her before I left for Russia. I've gotta say, I didn't fall asleep long after.

Anyway, rather than prattling on more and detailing the past year, I'll just say, Happy Together Day, little Monkey Girl! :-)

Judge Said Yes - a Year Ago Today!

2008-12-13T14:11:00.006-05:00

Yep, it's exactly a year that the Monkey Girl legally became MY little monkey!

Strangely, it's not really the day I consider our "family day". She was in the hospital at the time, and until she was released the next week, nothing really changed. I still was on a visiting schedule, my coordinator still had to do battle with the barely post-pubescent doctor to get her released, and my translator Tanya and I still were subject to some nurses' ridiculous restrictions during visits. And more to the point, nothing actually changed on that day for Alana.

So, the day I whisked the Monkey away and we finally got to be out on our own, free from any outside restrictions, is the day that really means the most to me.

But, of course, none of that would've ever happened if not for that a year ago today, in a courtroom in Murmansk, the judge stamped the papers and said...YES.

For a certain BFF...

2008-12-11T11:38:00.003-05:00

...who's vacationing with her family in a land far, far away....

Russian Tidbits

2008-12-05T07:56:00.007-05:00

1. Alexy II, Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church, just passed away. Interesting, if controversial, character. And interestig to me because most of the little Russian kiddies, including Alana, were probably born into the Russian Orthodox religion.

2. One year ago today, my buddy Mickel and I hopped onto a plane at JFK to go bring a little Monkey back from Murmansk, Russia. :-)

Back to the blog....

2008-12-04T18:24:00.003-05:00

I realized I've been kinda AWOL on the blog lately, with no particular reason.

So what's new? Let's see...

Speech/language: We seem to have turned some kind of corner a few weeks ago, where the Monkey is finally doing what monkeys do, verbally - mimicking! Within, literally, a two-day period, she suddenly started mimicking more sounds and words, and coming out with a few more spontaneous words. It's as if it suddenly occurred to her that the gibberish she'd been spouting wasn't actual speech, and that - hey! - I've gotta make real words! It's not quite floodgates, but there's now a steady trickle, and I'll definitely take it.

Pre-schools: Ah, right...this is what's been eating up some of my attention! Kicking around various options for next year. I've done one pre-school tour and application, am getting the Monkey evaluated for CPSE, which is basically a subsidized pre-school continuation of early-intervention, and am also considering simply moving her into the 3's & 4's program for another year at Kids Club. We'll see...

Me, I've been considering going Postal. Seriously....the USPS has screwed me up about 6 times over in the past month! And I don't even use them for much! Yes, a newfound empathy for those employees who truly lose it.

Anyhoo, the thoroughly exhausted little Monkey is now battling hard against sleep, after missing her nap in favor of a mid-day playdate with her BFF Ashley. (Ashley's parents were kind enough to host said playdate so I could go downtown and process our one-year Post-Placement Report. Yep, the one-year!). Speaking of Alana's BFF Ashley, she and her parents are going away in a few days for five looooong weeks! I don't know what these poor little monkeys are gonna do! I may have to post a few gratuitous videos for Ashley to watch from overseas. :-)

And now my sleep-resistant Monkey is yelling "Maaaaaa!" from her crib in this new way she has that makes me wonder, when the hell did my sweet, tiny little Russian princess turn into Will Farrell in Wedding Crashers?

...and a Happy Thanksgiving to All

2008-11-26T10:16:00.001-05:00

Adoption Buzz

2008-11-24T13:54:00.004-05:00

What a busy weekend this was in terms of internat'l adoption!

The doormen in my bldg were all agog to tell me that a friend in the building arrived home from China on Friday nite with her brand new 3-year-old bundle of joy (possibly a new addition to Alana and her BFF's playdates??), and Saturday afternoon a friend and her hubby took off to the Far East to meet their soon-to-be special little someone. They've already, thru the miracles of modern techie stuff, chatted with me across the many time zones via IM, and posted video of their first playdate with their daughter. They're completely smitten with the adorable little charmer, and seeing all this just thrills me and makes me squeeeeeeze the little Monkey that much harder.

Speaking of the Monkey, I emailed the Exec Director of the CMOM last Sunday nite, and had an email back by 8am Monday letting me know he was getting right on it. He's kept me more or less in the loop, both in his efforts to figure out exactly what happened, and how they can improve security in the future, so we'll see what happens from here. Me, I took a friend's suggestion and bought one of those baby-lojack-type thingies...a little bear receiver that attaches to her shoe or belt, and a transmitter for me. I press the button, and she beeps pretty loud. I'll let you know how it works!

THANK YOU, kind couple...

2008-11-16T18:09:00.005-05:00

Alrighty, kids, nutty/scary little story from yesterday.
Monkey and I were wrapping up a morning at the Children's Museum, and I was buying her a little toy in the gift shop. I'd had an eye on her, but after the minute or so it took to actually make the purchase, I looked around and she wasn't there. I figured she ran across the hall to climb in the Trojan Horse that she loves, but I checked and no Monkey. I quickly checked with the guard at the front entrance, and he said he'd only been on for about 10 mins, but nope, hadn't seen any girl fitting Alana's description leave in the last 2-3 minutes. So I went to the Activity Desk, where the nice gals there put out a radio alert within the museum. A couple of minutes later they said, "we've found her!", and a security guard presented her to me. She was fine, greeting me with a cheerful "mama!". I asked the guard where she'd been, and he pointed to front area, near stroller drop-off, and said "she was right over there". Ahhhh, no biggie, and all's fine. Until just then when a guy - a visitor, not staff - tapped me and said, "Excuse me, ma'am....your little girl was outside running towards Amsterdam Avenue!" What??? He said he and his family were coming up the street and saw Alana coming towards them, with no adult. They asked another woman on the street if Alana was hers, and when she said no, this guy and his family brought Alana back to the Children's Museum. I have no idea if they'd noticed the little sticker on her shirt, that only a regular CMOM visitor would recognize, or if it was a lucky guess...but THAT'S where she'd been!!!

Of course I told the girls at the Activity Desk what I'd just been told, and how I'd asked the guard about her and been told he hadn't seen her, and they just pointed out that it's a very busy place, and hard for the guard to notice each kid, especially if they seem to be with a family, yadda yadda. I'm sorry.....does this place not exist to entertain hundreds of active toddlers??? (For those not in the know, that's exactly what it exists for...it's 4 open floors of various open playspaces...and often there's one nanny or parent for 3 or 4 kids running around!). And they have no system in place to keep a little kid from just wandering out onto the city streets??? (Never mind a system to be sure a kid doesn't leave with the WRONG adult!). Needless to say I'm pretty freaked out by this. Scariest is simply the idea that I was in the building, with - thanks to the dumbass security system there, or lack thereof - no idea that she was outside. I don't even want to think about all that could've so easily happened. I DO want to think about how wonderful these people were for a) noticing Alana walking by herself and b) caring enough to actually DO something about it. I honestly can't imagine more than 1 in 100 people doing what they did. How lucky are we for that!!! Stunned as I was, I didn't even get their name, but I wish I had. And yes, a letter is going out to the Executive Director of the CMOM in the morning.

In much less wordy stories, we had our one year Post Placement visit on Thursday. Yep, can't believe it...almost a year already! And, thanks to everyone who trekked out in the rain for my belated but festive BDay dinner/bar-hop last nite. Especially since Alana got to have her own late-nite party with little Chloe and a babysitter, which means she's been in a cheery mood all day today. Ahhhhh.

Anything's Possible

2008-11-05T10:22:00.002-05:00

Yep, he did it!!!! Or WE did it - whichever. But yes, what an amazing victory. And amazing speeches from both our Prez2B and a gracious Sen. McCain. Now let's do what both parties know needs to be done, and that is to unify and all work to pull ourselves together...together. How exciting to be part of, and witness to it all. And one day the little Monkey Girl will hear how she was right there in the voting both when mama pulled the lever for Obama.

Speaking of the Monkey (how I so rarely do!) - we live in a 16-story bldg with 8 apts per floor, wrapped around a courtyard. Don't ask how this happened, but yesterday morning, the little one tossed her sippy cup up and out our open kitchen window. (We have window guards on the windows, which had to make this tricky, but somehow she managed). In fact, the sippy managed to fly across the courtyard and take out someone's kitchen window! The kicker? It's her BFF Ashley's window! Whoopsie! They live on the other side of the bldg, several floors down. I really have no freakin' idea how she managed this nifty little "trick" ...but, as the theme for yesterday goes...apparently, anything's possible!!! (sorry again 'bout the window, guys!) :-)

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-01T14:00:00.001-04:00

Halloween Candy Warning

2008-10-27T16:52:00.004-04:00

Especially for my Canadian readers, since according to snopes.com, that's where the candy's been sold:

There is a new warning put out by the Canadian Food Inspection Agency....

Sherwood brand Pirate's Gold Milk Chocolate coins are being recalled due to the fact that they contain Melamine, the ingredient in milk product that has caused many infant deaths in china. These candies are sold at Costco, as well as many bulk and dollar stores. please make sure to check your childrens halloween candy and DO NOT LET THEM EAT THE PIRATE COINS (you know the ones wrapped in the shiny gold foil) and please let other parents know ab out this!

We're just sayin'....

2008-10-26T16:08:00.004-04:00

Oh, Hi!

2008-10-23T14:13:00.009-04:00

Wow, it's been quite a while since I posted any Monkey updates. Mostly that's because it's been pretty much life as usual. That fierce tantrum phase that I last wrote about, thankfully, passed as quickly as it started. Don't get me wrong, we still have plenty of tantrums here and there, but that was a scary journey into in whole 'nother realm. Yikes.

So, let's see. New hobbies include balancing things on her head (sometimes toys; sometimes handfuls of egg salad), moo-ing, being a scary monster, perusing books, pouring water - splash! - from big cups into little ones and back, and doing backflips off the coffee table.

Most importantly, we're finally seeing some improvement in speech. I think I mentioned several posts back that while she had made some word approximations very early on, most of those words never really stuck and new ones were only added very intermittently. I can't say she's really rockin' and rollin' speechwise yet, but something definitely seems to have clicked. She's doing more mimicking, making more animal sounds and sound effects, and coming out with new actual words more regularly. I'll take it!

In order to capitalize on this roll, we've been approved by EI to get an additional weekly speech session, as well as sessions at a sensory gym. (See mention of backflips off the coffee table, not to mention that she now tries gymnastics in the tub, and jumping off the couch into semi-full toy boxes!)

Otherwise, she's still funny as hell, a total smart-ass, giggly, is always playing in blankets which mattes her hair into a full-on rat's nest, and loves anything that kisses or eats. As she loves to say, "yum!".

And now, an important message

2008-10-16T21:50:00.000-04:00

Ouch...tagged!

2008-10-09T23:33:00.003-04:00

I've been tagged by Jenni to post 6 random things about myself. Hmmm...here goes!

1. Olives and mushrooms. Blegh!
2. I have no musical talent whatsoever, but love concerts and music trivia
3. I do have artistic talent, but get bored in art museums
4. I'm still sporting my bellybutton ring
5. I have a pet peeve about excessive texting. (Had texting been invented first, wouldn't voice calling have seemed like a huge improvement??)
6. When I was a little kid I once let my brother cut my hair. Big mistake.

Now, let's see...who to tag....howzabout:
Ann Marie
Wendi
Lori
Laura
Kate

Lifebook Ideas?

2008-10-06T14:05:00.003-04:00

Of course I've been gathering documents, photos, info and all that good stuff to put into a Lifebook and some sort of keepsake box. I've started drafting some text to go with them, too.

I'm a little stymied as to simple logistics and aesthetics, and well...who better to ask than you guys?? So, where did you start? Did you use a full-sized scrapbook, or a smaller book to accommodate standard-sized paper? Anyone just decorate a binder, to simplify adding pages? Did you use original documents or copies in the book?

Any and all tricks and tips are welcome. As always, the weirder the better!

Stupid Kiddie Tricks

2008-10-04T09:23:00.003-04:00

Sure, the Czar can bust a mean move, but check this out. Gotta tilt your head sideways...

Ah, so THIS is the Terrible Two's

2008-09-30T20:55:00.004-04:00

And here I'd thought we were already in them! Just....holy crap.

3 times today we returned from outings, me strolling along with a screaming, thrashing Monkey Girl tucked under my arm. (Why tucked under my arm? Simple...you don't go thru this so many times without learning a thing or two about avoiding bitemarks and facial lacerations). Two of those times, of course, I was also dragging a stubborn, poor arthritic beagle. The pup, at least, doesn't bite.

Not that she hasn't always been something of a feisty drama queen, but these past few days - and several times each day - even the tiniest of glitches in the Monkey's perfect plans set her off on a tantrum. The phones, remotes, and her toy boxes take the biggest brunt. She'll go nuclear and start to hysterically scale tall fixtures, spew the contents of my jewelry drawer, kick Cassie, and claw at me if I don't stop her. Of course, the tantrum instantly turns into giggles and flirtation if we encounter the right elevator guy.

That said, she's gotten cuddlier with me, too. She loves to cuddle on the couch in the morning and watch tv, and any time I go put her in her stroller now, instead of starting off with a tantrum, she grabs onto me like a - yes, little monkey! - nestling in to my neck and holding on tight, pleading "no, no, no...!". If I give in and carry her, it's giggles and kisses and more giggles and kisses til we get wherever we're going. Of course, if I insist on using the stroller, her little head starts spinning around and spewing pea soup.

I'm hoping it's a short phase, but who knows? In the meantime, I've been trying time-ins, ignoring her (which is only possible up to a point!), logical consequences, and tonite during this 3rd round of nuclear terror I just yanked off her shoes and jeans, tossed her into her crib, zipped up the tent thingy, told her that mommy loves her, and left the room.

Ahhhhhhh. Now where did I put that Merlot?

I won't go off on the McPalin ticket...

2008-09-28T16:08:00.012-04:00

I won't go off on the McPalin ticket, I won't go off on the McPalin ticket, I won't go off on the McPalin ticket....

Oh, Hi there! Since I couldn't think of a thing to blog about, I'm just gonna go with what's really important at the end of the day, anyway...cute kiddie stuff! I'm trying not to laugh as I type this, since the Monkey's been using her naptime as designated party-time, full of some very animated conversations with her imaginary party friends. She also seems to have picked up the cough that I've been dragging around for a few days, poor thing. Anyway, here's the Monkey and her real BFF, Ashley - probably the only girl we know of equal monkey-ness - partying here like rock stars a few nites ago. Can you say Future Man-Eaters Club?

"Just what New York needs....

2008-09-25T11:20:00.010-04:00

...another single Jewish girl!" -- Carrie, after Charlotte and Harry split up (SATC)

Being Jewish myself, I had the Monkey officially initiated as a Tribes-girl this week, through a ritual Mikvah bath conversion. Even though I already considered her to be pretty much Jewish by adoption, I felt it would be a nice way for her to feel that much more assimilated into our family, and help to give her a stronger sense of identity. Just to briefly explain what happens: Mama and baby enter a small pool, which meets several detailed specifications but basically feels like a really big, chest-deep, warm bathtub. Baby's butt nekkid, mama's sporting swimwear. Mama says 2 Hebrew prayers on baby's behalf, bounces baby around (fortunately the Monkey loves the water!), and then mama bounces baby up and...whoops!... drops her....so baby will completely submerge in the water before mama freaks and quickly plucks her out. The Monkey Girl did great - no screaming or crying, just a little sputtering and a "WTF was THAT??" look, which was completely justified! It's definitely a strange feeling to intentionally toss your little beloved one completely underwater.

We celebrated with some singing and cupcakes afterward, and for the rest of the entire day - the entire freakin' day! - the monkey seemed to be on a crazy sugar rush. I started wondering if the rabbi could change her back.

Here's the cute, newly Jewish little Monkey with one of her EI therapists a couple of hours after the festivities....and just before she started leaping off the coffee table into the doggie bed several feet away.

...just another day at the Monkey House

2008-09-18T22:39:00.007-04:00

Pics from the Monkey House

2008-09-15T18:13:00.009-04:00

Man, you go a few days without posting new pics, and everyone's on your case.
So without further ado....

Snuggling up with one of her EI therapists (you should see her with her speech guy!)...

Cookie dunking....

beware the tickle monster...

...and watching the only show that seems to matter, Jack's Big Music Show

9//11/08

2008-09-11T14:49:00.008-04:00

I think we're all saying the same thing today. "I can't believe it's been seven years."

This morning, while my little Monkey was eating her cereal, I snuck into the living room to watch the Memorial Ceremonies for a few minutes before she'd come in demanding Jack's Big Music Show. As I watched the reading of the names, and her eating her cereal, my eye wandered over to the breakfront, where I've got a drawer filled with magazines and newspapers covering the original event....that stuff you feel compelled to keep, but have no idea why.

Of course, I flashed back to 9/11/01, the beautiful day where I walked into work wondering who I was gonna vote for the in the city primaries that were to be held that day. My office was about 20 blocks straight uptown from the WTC, with knee-to-ceiling windows. I faced downtown Manhattan, the rivers, and, most striking of all, had a bold, unobstructed view of the two shiny, sky-high towers.

Of course I'll never forget walking in to see virtually the entire company plastered against the windows, watching in shock (the second plane had just hit when I got in); the sight of the towers burning; frantically trying to call anyone I knew who worked down in the financial district, and finding most calls couldn't go thru. I watched the towers burn from my window, while at the same time seeing re-runs of the second plane hitting, over and over again on CNN (iN Demand is a cable tv company, thus a lot of tv's on hand). Rumors were coming fast and furious, and all we could do was try and make some sense of what was going on, knowing full well that we couldn't. My good friends who were likely to be downtown were safe. (Manju'd been dawdling as usual, and thus heard the news before leaving her apt, thank goodness. Mickel's interview on the trading floor was, I'd thought, not til later in the day. By the time I found out it was for 9am, I knew he was safe). What I'll truly never forget is the sound of cries and screams, and the feeling of terror and my insides going cold as the first tower suddenly exploded and started to crumble from the middle, and in slow motion, this icon of New York, not to mention America, maybe or maybe not full of regular office staff, executives, and traders - maybe some of my friends! - crumble down to the ground in front of my eyes. This HUGE cloud of black dust enveloping lower Manahattan, and appearing to be heading straight for us.

Suffice it to say I eventually made it back uptown, with a little help from my wonderful friends Mitch and Laurie (little Chloe's folks), who went out of their way to help anyone they knew get uptown. Along the way, I was awestruck by the mobs - huge mobs - in front of Saint Vincents hospital waiting to give blood. I was horrified by the sight of all the ambulances lined up three-deep in front of Chelsea Piers, instinctively knowing what the grisly ad-libbed plans must be for the sports complex.
We gave 3 girls we didn't know a ride uptown because we saw they couldn't fit on an overcrowded bus and it was a hot day. And once uptown, a I met a few other zombied-out friends for lunch - some of whom had seen way worse things than I had - to zone out and speak when we could. On sun-drenched Amsterdam Avenue, where all the outdoor cafes were packed with trendy young moms, artsy types, and others happily chatting away, probably not yet aware of the news, and seemingly oblivious to the taxis that were driving by covered in ash. And of course, I'll never forget the eerie silence that fell on the city by that evening, and lasted throughout the week; certainly not the exhausted firemen I ran into while walking my dog that nite who said it was awful, that they could still hear screams and moans coming from the rubble; or the surreal sound of fighter jets circling overhead, or the even more surreal way New Yorkers were so wonderfully helpful and thoughtful of each other, if only for those first weeks.

So this morning, as I followed orders from the little Monkey and switched from the reading of the names to Jack, she couldn't possibly have understood why I got misty when I said, under my breath, "it's okay, this is gonna go on for hours, anyway." She couldn't have understood the parade of police passing in front of us towards the church around the corner, and didn't think twice about why mommy stopped to see the photos, flowers, and candles burning as we passed the firehouse down the street.

But this year, Alana's first 9/11 home with her mama, in New York, I know exactly why I kept all those newspapers and magazines.

An Embarrassment to Barracudas

2008-09-09T13:24:00.002-04:00

(CNN) – The rock band "Heart" may have asked John McCain and Sarah Palin stop playing their song "Barracuda" at their rallies, but the campaign is apparently paying no heed.

The track — played at the Republican National Convention in honor of the Vice Presidential nominee, who earned the nickname "Sarah Barracuda" playing high school basketball in Alaska — was pumped through the streets of Lebanon, Ohio on Tuesday morning at an outdoor rally before the GOP ticket showed up.

Earlier: Heart condemns McCain-Palin use of 'Barracuda'

When the song was played after Palin's convention speech last week, the band members quickly requested that McCain and Palin pull the plug.

"Sarah Palin's views and values in no way represent us as American women," Ann and Nancy Wilson told Entertainment Weekly. "We ask that our song 'Barracuda' no longer be used to promote her image."

But the McCain camp said last week that it had paid for and obtained all necessary licenses before using the song.

And the band's former guitarist, Roger Fisher, told Reuters last week that the McCain camp’s use of the song benefited both sides: Republicans get "the ingenious placement of a kick-ass song" — and Heart gets headlines and royalties. Part of that money, said Fisher, would be heading to the Arizona senator’s opponent: "With my contribution to Obama's campaign, the Republicans are now supporting Obama," he told Reuters.

Bits 'n Pieces

2008-09-08T21:00:00.003-04:00

- In the "not that there's anything wrong with that" category: Last nite the Monkey and I were out with my friend Michelle. If you know Mish, you know that a slow week for her is 3 dates and 5 other guys texting her up the wazoo, so there was certainly nothing unusual about a guy stopping to chat her up while I was in Tasti-D-Lite getting us some goodies and she was outside tending to Alana. It did make it pretty funny that when he obviously tried to feel out Mish's status by asking if Alana was waiting for her daddy, and Mish answered, "nope, her mommy".... the guy gave her a funny look and moved on!

- Coinciding with her first day of school today, the little Monkey's been setting some new records for poopy diapers. Because she's recently been bothered by the feel of poopy diapers (a good sign for potty training!), she started to stick her hand down her diaper and fidget (yuck!)....and then, of course, proceed with other activities. So tonite I've been having to wipe down every spot in the apartment she touched before I caught on. The good news is, those spots aren't hard to find.

- Our elevator (the service elevator, since our regular elevator has been shut down for months while it's being 'modernized') is out of service right now, so I'm stuck inside instead of Alana and I taking Cassie the Wonderbeagle for her nite-time walk. This, combined with the little story above, just doesn't bode well for the morning. Yikes.

The Birds and the, uh...whats?

2008-09-05T09:46:00.006-04:00

Funny, I've been hearing oodles of exciting adoption news lately. Not gonna name names, but I have two friends who, having endured so much frustration and not expecting referrals for a long time to come, have recently been surprised to receive adorable pictures of their potential kiddies (who would be incredibly lucky to be placed in such loving homes!). I have one friend (who shall remain 'anonymous') who's in Russia at this very moment just waiting to pick up her new wee one's passport so they can return home together. And I've heard from two people who have just recently begun their exciting (and yes, it's possibly gonna be a rollercoaster!) process.

Last nite I got the buzz that one of my doormen had just become a new dad. So strange...I tend to forget that most people become moms and dads the "old fashioned" way!

Now if you'll excuse me, the Monkey's giddily spinning around in circles to make herself dizzy, and I wanna make sure she doesn't fall on the dog.

Things Parenting Has Taught Me

2008-09-04T09:05:00.008-04:00

The Monkey Girl, as you may know, is in the midst of the oh-so-aptly-named “terrible two’s”. As one popular theory goes, a lot of the terribleness likely comes from the frustration of not being able to make herself understood, which seems to make sense. I’ve gotta say, many times I’ve been strolling around town with her when a spontaneous tantrum mysteriously erupts. What I’ve found is, if I just ask her to listen to me and then list some likely possibilities, everything calms down the minute I guess right. When “Sweetie, are you hungry?” gets met with a gentle “yee-ah’, suddenly all is right with the world. She’s feeling heard. Forceful attempts at discipline drive her nuclear fast, but now I can simply explain that we’ll eat after the next errand, and we go on happily with our day.

Another biggie, of course, is that you’ve gotta lead by example. The old-school “do as I say, not as I do” deal just doesn’t fly. If I tell the Monkey not to drink out her cereal bowl and then I do it, what do YOU think is gonna happen next??

Third, and this has been a popular one on the blogs lately, is that these kids will test and test to see if really truly love them, to really challenge you, because they need to know how important they are to you and that nothing’s gonna take you away from them.

With this in mind, let’s play a little game of 20 Questions. How do you think I responded to the pretty lady on my TV who was all bravado, balls, bulldozing, and victory, with no hint whatsoever at dialogue, exchange of ideas, respect for opposing views, compromise, or peaceful resolutions? (Take a minute to mark down your answer). Okay, next. How do you think I responded to the anti-choice, abstinence-only, no-sex-ed lawmaker who, in spite of having her own teen become pregnant, has shown no sign of rethinking or acknowledging any need to revisit her position the issue? As a parent, I think it's crucial to admit when you've made a mistake in order to teach grace, strength of character, and maintain credibility. She kind of reminded me of a certain president who continues to send our soldiers - sons, daughters, husbands, wives, and parents- to their deaths in Iraq, just to save face about having based the whole war on a silly oopsie (go easy on that #2 pencil…) Three, can you guess my thoughts about a woman who campaigns on small-town family values – whose entire party platform is all about family values – and proudly trots out her five children (the ones we're not allowed to mention), including pregnant teen daughter and special needs infant boy, who she’ll uproot (or leave behind at home?) to be cared for by…wait, who’s gonna be caring for all these children?...while the Barracuda goes off to Washington to launch pit-bull attacks of “family values” on us all?

Okay, pencils down. Hope you enjoyed our little quiz!

She does it Her Way

2008-09-02T11:10:00.008-04:00

After all, why NOT sleep inside your pillow?

...and why NOT get eye-to-eye with Jack & Mary?

..and why NOT help mama pay the bills?

Man, my Monkey Girl (in spite of a trip to the zoo where she had a blast "ooh-oohing" at the monkeys) had me calling her Mischief Mouse all weekend. Every two seconds she was on, under, into or headed somewhere she shouldn't be. Yikes! Yes, there may be a change in moniker brewing here. Mischief Mouse. I'm kinda liking it.